Birth support: Who is allowed in the delivery room?
In desperation, an expectant mother of twins turns to the internet: her husband wants his parents to be with him in the delivery room against her will. Here we clarify how many people are allowed to be present at the birth and what rights the expectant mother has.
“Nothing happens without you!”
Some make their indignation so clear that we have to smile:
“Tell your husband that you will not allow his parents to be present in the delivery room until he has stood naked in front of your parents and made a deep bow. He must then remain naked for 12 hours and assume a spread-legged position. If he accepts this challenge, give permission to his parents.”
“’Should you get a belly and squeeze a baby out of your own vagina, you can have the whole England football team in the delivery room. Until then, your parents can wait in the lobby and, if you don’t want to, you can fuck off with them.’ That’s exactly what I would say. It’s his baby, too, and at every moment in your child’s life, he should have the same rights to make decisions as you do. At every moment, except at birth.”
“Honey you are the patient, the queen, the star of the show!! Nothing happens without you!! It’s your health, your comfort, your pain… it’s your naked vagina!”
Another user suggested asking the doctor for help: “Leave the responsibility to someone in authority.” Isabella should ask him in a private conversation to make it clear at the next appointment that the parents-in-law are not allowed to come to the delivery room for health reasons.
Birth support: One person is enough
All of these tips and words of support have the same message: the expectant mother decides who is present in the delivery room. After all, birth is not only a very intimate event, but also a nerve-wracking one. It is therefore essential that the pregnant woman feels as comfortable as possible. Many women therefore usually only want one other person to accompany them during the birth in addition to the midwife: partner, mother, sister or best friend.
In some cases, for example if the birth lasts longer, it also happens that birth attendants take turns staying in the delivery room. The only important thing is that the woman giving birth is not disturbed by this.
There is no law that states that the mother-to-be decides on the constellation in the delivery room. But be aware that the birth is not about other, outsiders, but about you, your baby and both of your health.
So if you find yourself in a similar situation to Isabella, consult your midwife or doctor. Ask for a one-on-one interview and explain how you are feeling. They will understand and help you convey your wishes to your partner or relatives. This also has to do with the fact that most hospitals do not want more than one person in the delivery room.
The partner in the delivery room: a good idea?
Not every woman is comfortable with the idea of taking her partner to the delivery room. Of course it is also a special moment for him to witness the birth of his child and he can be a great support for you. But not every man is “made to” go through childbirth. Some are even overwhelmed by the unknown situation.
Therefore, in our article “Men in the Delivery Room: Real Help or Additional Ballast?” created a pros and cons list.