Dealing with disabled children in the family

Dealing with disabled children changes all aspects of life – whether partnership or the relationship between siblings. Find out here how you cope with everyday life and dealing with a disabled child.

How to properly deal with disabled children?

There is no one-size-fits-all solution for dealing with the disabled – but the fact is that a physically or mentally handicapped child needs a lot of attention and time. Depending on the need for care, this can affect the entire family, especially siblings. You get less “parental leave” if you have a sibling with speech disorders or behavioral problems. In our special on the subject of siblings, we summarized how they strengthen social skills and what you can do if your children are constantly fighting :

Dealing with disabled siblings – this is how it works

So that dealing with the disabled sibling can develop well, you should note the following:

  • Explain to your child what kind of disability their sibling has and why some things in your family are different as a result. If your offspring has understood this, they can accept the new situation more quickly.
  • Don’t always demand loyalty and consideration from your child when dealing with the disabled sibling. Show understanding if your child doesn’t always manage to do this.
  • Some parents see their healthy child as the “bearer of hope for the family” who should fulfill the expectations and wishes of the parents. Try to reflect on the demands of your child as often as possible.
  • After the birth of the disabled child, some parents develop an exaggerated fear that something could happen to their other child. Don’t try to “protect” your child from everything and let them master everyday life carefree.
  • Since a disabled child demands a lot of time, the sibling can quickly feel neglected. So take your time for your other child and show him how much you love him .
  • Don’t pressure your child with statements like, “When we’re gone, you’ll take care of your sister.” You cannot burden your child with such a responsibility.
Freedom of expression important!

Healthy children often put their needs in the background because they don’t want to be a burden for their parents. It can be unconscious that they build up aggression against the disabled sibling or even against themselves. Your child should therefore be allowed to express outbursts of anger and a certain amount of aggression.

Dealing with disabled children – this is how the partnership succeeds

When trying to master how to deal with a disabled child, many parents reach their limits. As a result, there is often little time for yourself and your partner. The resulting distance and stress can put a strain on the partnership. You must learn to fix the problems in your relationship and to communicate properly with each other . Here are a few tips on how your partnership with a physically or mentally handicapped child works:

  • By dealing with disabled children, existing roles are often broken up and redistributed. Use this as an opportunity to reshape your relationship.
  • Avoid blaming each other for your child’s disability.
  • Talk to each other about your feelings – not only will you feel better afterwards, but your partner will also realize that he is not alone with these feelings.
  • Try to create space for relaxation together.
  • Also plan small breaks just for you – this is the only way you can catch your breath and clear your head in particularly strenuous times.
  • Many parents do not want to leave their child in the hands of strangers – nevertheless, accept help and support from friends and relatives.

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