The child is lying on its side
Marina Esser says: “We wanted to venture back home after the home birth of our daughter Marie was so beautiful. When the contractions finally started a week after the calculated due date, we were overjoyed. I waited with joy for the tremendous experience. But the contractions went away.”
The next day I had contractions again . It was October 2nd, 2007, my next appointment at the gynecologist was on that day. Everything cool, he says. Just not parked, little head. That’s normal with the second child, the doc says. The head then slides into the pelvis during the contractions. OK. I went home in very strong pains. The intervals shortened to every five minutes, I was still relaxed and full of anticipation for our son.
The amniotic sac bursts
I then got out of the car in front of our house and already thought…oh…oh…it’s pressing! Quickly up the 99 stairs, to the toilet and BANG! The amniotic sac burst . Wonderfully relieving. But then not a single contraction came. hmmm?? I called the midwife. when she arrived we found that the child’s head was not positioned correctly. But neither does the butt! WAAAA???? transverse position ! We called an ambulance.
Child is in a transverse position: So go to the hospital!
I was then carried prone down the 99 steps by six firefighters to avoid the risk of a prolapsed umbilical cord. The ambulance shook a lot and I was terrified. I had prepared for everything but this. In the hospital it seemed like routine. First, the heart sounds were checked. They were at 180! Gradually, everyone was preparing for a caesarean sectionbefore. I too was prepared through conversations with an angel (Fr. Dr. Justine Fitzgerald). Then the doctor arrived. From that moment on, I can no longer remember any feelings. I heard screams: “NOTSECTIO! PROTECTED UMBILICAL CORD!” I couldn’t see anything because the tocolysis took away all normal vision. I only heard my heart beating fast and loud. And felt my lover’s caresses on the way to the next door (to the operating theatre). The last words I heard from the doctors: “GUYS! This has to go even faster!”
Martin is finally here!
7:01 p.m. General anesthesia. 07/19 “Birth” of Martin. 19.45 my awakening – a suffering. agony. Pains. Opiate. Around 10:15 p.m. I see Martin for the first time and immediately cry and love. A dream creature. Calm, thoughtful, sensitive, my eyes. Nevertheless THE thought: Is this really MY child? A horror question. In my opinion a huge gap.
And then?
After insane colic, after-pains, wound pain, I am allowed to go home on the seventh day. And for another two weeks I ask myself the question (with Martin in my arms): “When are you finally coming, my little one?” Insanity. I suffer from severe depression. The birth center midwives and homeopathy help me. Finally a thousand tears and sudden dreams – the processing has begun. And it’s not over yet. Martin is healthy. I also. SPLENDID! But processed? Maybe ten percent of the experience. DREADFUL!