The church wedding: preparations and procedure
After the civil wedding, many couples also want a church wedding. Here you can find out what you should consider during your preparations, which special features apply depending on the denomination and how the church wedding ceremony takes place.
After the “official” wedding in the registry office, many couples also want a church wedding with a large wedding party and an atmospheric ceremony. As so often in wedding planning, there are many unanswered questions and you may need a little help with the preparations for the church wedding. We will tell you how the wedding ceremony – whether Protestant or Catholic – will go in broad outline and which organizational questions you should clarify in advance.
• Select and book the church for the wedding – preferably about six to nine months before the desired date
• Arrange a marriage interview with the responsible pastor
• If desired, book musicians for the church wedding
• Put together important documents for the church wedding. Keep an eye on how up-to-date the documents are.
• Choice of groomsmen, bridesmaids, flower girls and ring bearers
• Create and print out the church booklet/wedding program for the church wedding
• Possibly rehearse the course of the ceremony on site
Prepare for the church wedding
With the date for the church wedding, a date for the wedding talk is usually set at the same time. At this wedding ceremony, the pastor and the bride and groom meet to get to know each other better, but also to discuss organizational issues. There are many ways to add a personal touch to the ceremony. You can choose a particularly beautiful wedding saying, select prayers of intercession and also have a say in the choice of songs for the church wedding. You may want to hire professional musicians, singers, or a choir for the wedding. Clarify in advance where musicians and the wedding photographer may position themselves during the ceremony.
The marriage seminar is primarily part of the preparations for a church wedding in the Catholic Church, but is usually not mandatory. As a rule, this is a day or weekend seminar that costs around 30 to 50 euros. Bride and groom have the opportunity to deal with their relationship and future together as a married couple. You can certainly find out about dates and the exact costs from the parish office in your parish.
The church wedding at a glance
- Opening: The wedding guests take a seat in the church, whereby the first two pews are usually reserved for the family members of the bridal couple. The pastor picks up the bridal couple and any witnesses at the church entrance and, accompanied by music, they enter the church.
- Greeting: After the bride and groom have entered, the first common song is usually sung and the pastor greets the assembled congregation. The Kyrie prayer now follows in the Catholic wedding service; at the Protestant wedding prayer and speech, in which the selected wedding verse plays a special role.
- Reading from the Bible: During the reading, biblical text passages are recited that, appropriate to the occasion, deal with love and happiness in marriage.
- Wedding: The time has finally come and the actual church wedding begins. In the Catholic sequence, the priest first asks the bride and groom if they are willing to enter into a Christian marriage, the rings are blessed and the marriage is sealed with a marriage question or a marriage oath. The rings are exchanged and then the bridal candle is lit. The Protestant wedding ceremony is very similar with a marriage question or marriage promise, the exchange of rings and a blessing for the newly wed couple. However, the blessing of the rings and the bridal candle is usually dispensed with in the Protestant church.
- Intercession prayer: The intercessions are addressed to the bridal couple, their family and friends and can be said by different wedding guests.
- Eucharistic celebration (Catholic): After the prayers of intercession, the Eucharistic celebration can follow at a Catholic wedding. After the Lord’s Prayer, the bride, groom and wedding guests receive Holy Communion.
- Excerpt: A song may be sung at the conclusion of the ceremony. The pastor blesses the community before or afterward and the bridal couple then moves out of the church. Gradually, the wedding guests can go out and congratulate the happy couple.
Church wedding: the most important questions
Depending on the denomination and community, the requirements and preparations for the church wedding differ a little. Contact persons in case of difficulties and questions are the responsible parish and the parish priest. You can also find answers to the most common questions about church weddings here:
- How much does a church wedding cost? The church wedding is basically free, except for the costs incurred for decoration, organists and sextons. If the wedding is in a church that is not your home church or if you have special requests, higher fees may apply.
- Can you choose the church for the church wedding? If you want to get married in a church outside of your parish, this is usually not a problem. All you need is a certificate from your parish, which is presented to the desired church.
- What documents do you need for the church wedding?You need a valid identity card, a current certificate of baptism – not older than six months – and the marriage certificate from the registry office. Since 2009 there has been a change in the Civil Status Act, which allows church weddings without a civil marriage. Nevertheless, in many communities the marriage at the registry office is required. Incidentally, marriage through a purely church wedding is not considered legally valid, so the couple is still unmarried before the law. You may also need a confirmation certificate for a Catholic wedding, and a confirmation certificate for a Protestant wedding. If the bride or groom belong to another religion or no faith, they still have to obtain a so-called proof of singleness. You can read more about the necessary documents for the wedding in our article “Read the most important documents for the wedding ”.
- Are groomsmen necessary? At a Catholic wedding, witnesses are required. When making your choice, it is important that the person should be at least 14 years old. The best man or the maid of honor does not necessarily have to be Catholic. In the registry office and for a church wedding in the Protestant church, witnesses are not absolutely necessary.
- What is an ecumenical marriage? With the ecumenical wedding ceremony, a “denominational” marriage is concluded. That means: The Protestant bride marries the Catholic bridegroom – or vice versa – without having to commit to a purely Protestant or Catholic understanding of marriage. The Catholic partner needs a “dispensation from the formal obligation”, i.e. a kind of permission for the wedding according to the Protestant rite. A Protestant and a Catholic clergyman are involved in the ceremony.
- When is a church wedding not possible? If both you and your partner have left the church or have not been baptized, unfortunately a church wedding is not possible. A previous marriage that ended in divorce also poses a problem for the Catholic Church. It is best to seek a conversation with the wedding chaplain to clarify further details and requirements for the church wedding.
If the church wedding is out of the question, you can still organize a festive ceremony alongside the civil wedding with a free theologian or wedding speaker. In our article ” The free wedding ceremony ” you can find a lot of information and tips on this topic.