Speak out: When your child interrupts others

Your child has an almost irrepressible need to communicate. They want something to drink, go outside to play, or talk about the amazing cat they pet at a friend’s house. It comes to you to tell you as soon as possible. It doesn’t wait for your attention, it starts chattering right away. Of course you’re happy that your child is already speaking so well and your relationship is so good that they just want to tell you everything. Do you want to support your child’s language development to the best of your ability? But why shouldn’t you be able to finish a sentence?

Why your child interrupts you and others

There are a number of reasons why your child keeps interrupting you. The age and temperament of your child play a role.

• By the time your child is two years old, they can already form three-word sentences. His short-term memory is not very well developed. He needs to tell you what happened quickly, or he might forget what he was trying to tell you. In addition, your child cannot yet imagine that there is anything more important than his opinion. Due to its natural development, it only knows itself and its needs. It doesn’t understand the sentence: “Please don’t interrupt me!”
• At the age of three and four , your child will slowly become a little talker. He can change intonation and choice of words and engage in small, simple conversations. And they begin to understand that the world doesn’t revolve around their interests alone. Many children are bothered when others get your attention and they are not included in the conversation. But its short-term memory is now more developed and it is learning to wait, albeit for a short time. It is also a little less impulsive than when it was two years old.
• Your child is now five years old and is interrupting you? Now they understand what it means to interrupt others and that it’s not right. But it has a hard time remembering that. Even if your child is less impulsive, sharing their perspective is still a priority. If you explain to your child not to interrupt others, they will understand what you mean by now. Even in kindergarten, it learns to stick to the rules of conversation.
• From around the age of six, your child will know that interrupting others is impolite. Either he has forgotten that, or he considers his concern so important that he disregards this rule. If your child is particularly temperamental, they will be more likely to interrupt those around them than if they are shy.

How should you react when your child interrupts you

• Be factual : Keep explaining to your child not to interrupt others and why.
• Be patient : Your child is not acting out of malice. Controlling his urge to talk is a difficult task that will take your child many years. Learning rules of conduct is a lengthy process.
• Don’t interrupt : You shouldn’t interrupt your child “as a punishment” to demonstrate the disruption of not being able to finish speaking. Speaking and being praised is very important for your child’s language development. If your child is interrupted too often, you risk becoming insecure and possibly starting to stutter.
• Practice letting each other finish speaking in a playful way : Ask each other questions. When the question is finished, say, “I’m done. Now it’s your turn!”. Sit down so that you and your child are at eye level.
• Teach your child how to interrupt politely : It’s less on your nerves when your child learns to interrupt less dramatically. Give praise when your child succeeds. You motivate them with praise. If your child is six years old or older, you can practice interrupting short breaks in conversation with a friendly “excuse me”.
• Keep your promises : If you said you have two minutes, don’t make your child wait four minutes. Your child should be able to rely on you. Remember that two minutes can seem like an eternity to a child who is waiting.
• Explain your behavior : If your child is six years old or older, you can explain to him why you can’t always drop everything to be there for him, even if your child thinks it has to be like that. Explain to your child why other things are also important and why they have to learn to wait.
• Pay attention to your child’s emotional mood : If he is frustrated because something is not working, then you should understand that he interrupts you. In frustrating situations, even adults fail to follow the rules of conversation.
• Give your child time : Your child only gradually learns to judge which news can wait and what it is better to tell you right away. Do you want it to tell you right away that the sink is overflowing? Your child remembers that they are terribly hungry, can this message wait until you have finished talking on the phone?
• Be a role model : let your child and your other interlocutors finish speaking. Your child learns primarily from you and your partner. Be a role model.
• Apologize : Your child likes to copy your behavior. If you interrupted your child, apologize and ask them to continue talking. Your child feels the calm with which you apologize, gets the feeling of being taken seriously and learns from you.
• Look for everyday practice situations : Let your children take turns talking, for example at dinner together. Make sure everyone can have their say.
• Praise your child : If your child has been waiting and not interrupting you, then you should definitely praise them. He then feels that the effort is worthwhile and that his efforts are recognized.
• Create speaking times: Postpone phone calls to a time when you have enough rest, for example when your partner is looking after your child or when it is sleeping.