Toddler bangs his head against the wall, what to do?

As horrifying as your child’s behavior may seem to you, banging their heads against floors and walls is more common among two-year-olds than you might imagine. In fact, up to 20 percent of all one- and two-year-olds intentionally bang their heads. This phase can only last a few months, but sometimes it can last for several years. But don’t worry: most children have overcome this type of physical violence against themselves by the age of three.

Why is your child banging his head against the wall?

• Strange as it may sound, for many children banging their heads against the wall is a way to relax. The steady rhythm is calming. Head banging can also be compared to the movement of a rocking chair: it helps your child to relax.
• If your child has an ear infection or is suffering from other physical pains, head banging is a way to relieve these symptoms. Head banging distracts from the actual pain or replaces it with new pain.
• Many children vent their emotions, anger and frustration by hitting their heads. Your child does not yet know how to control and adequately express his feelings. So it uses physical violence – against others or against itself.
• Children need love and affection. Children who crave attention sometimes use unusual methods to get it. Your child will quickly understand that you are giving them your full attention when they bang their heads against walls or floors.
• In rare cases, head banging is also related to autism or other dysfunctions. If you are unsure whether this could also be the case with your child, you should consult a doctor who will advise you on the subject.

What do you do when your child bangs their head against the wall?

• Let your child romp: Make sure your child gets enough exercise every day to burn off their energy.
• Pay attention to rituals: Many children bang their heads against the wall because the rhythmic movement helps them fall asleep. Maintain a regular “going to bed” ritual. This can help your child break the habit of headbanging.
• Watch out for injuries: If your child hits their head on the wall, make sure they don’t get seriously injured. Small bumps can happen. Usually the little ones stop on their own when it hurts.
• Give your child the attention they need—but not when they’re banging their heads against the wall.
• Find alternatives that give your child the desired calming rhythm. How about dancing, marching or clapping to music together? You can also give him drums where he can try himself.
• If your child’s behavior seems very troubling, if they are losing language or physical skills, if they are becoming more and more withdrawn from you, or if they are permanently behind in their usual development, you should consult a doctor .