When your five year old lies

By the age of five, your child understands the effects of lying at different levels. When it hears fairy tales, it has learned to distinguish between fantasy and reality. “It’s true” or “It’s just a game,” is how he comments on his behavior or the stories he hears. Your child feels more grown up and wants to test their limits. They want attention and approval from those around them. At this age, your child pays attention to justice and truth. If it catches someone lying, it calls out “liar”.

Why your five year old is lying

Your child has now learned how to get what you want by making false claims. The reasons for your child lying can be varied and have both selfish and unselfish causes. They may be desperate to have something or protect a playmate. Your child has now also understood that you could be disappointed if they do something wrong and you find out. They don’t want to lose your affection, so they lie. Perhaps your child also feels overwhelmed and tries to protect themselves from being overwhelmed by telling a lie. Children lie for the same reasons as adults. They want to gain approval by lying, to protect themselves from punishment, or they lie because they are afraid of losing the affection of others,

How should you react when your five-year-old is lying?

• Stay calm: Take a moment to breathe deeply. Talking angrily to your child will not do anything. Only when you are calm can you talk calmly to your child about the situation.
• Ask “Why”: You should find out why your child was dishonest. Has his imagination run away? Or was your child afraid to be honest or maybe even want to protect a friend with their lie? The desire for attention may also have prompted your child to lie.
• Explain to your child that honesty is important: Children need to learn from their parents that honesty is important. Explain to your child that telling the truth is very important and why you shouldn’t lie.
• Consequences yes, punishment no: It is important that your child realizes that lying has consequences that can be unpleasant for him. Explain to your child how much it can hurt other people with a lie.
• Assure your child that you love them: Your child will lie after doing something illegal in order not to lose your affection. Show him that you love him no matter what he does. Then they can feel safe the next time they tell you the truth.
• Tell your child what you expect: It is important that you set clear rules and boundaries for your child and show what you expect from them. If your child does not receive clear instructions from you, it cannot be guided by them.
• Build trust: Your child should trust you and realize that they can talk to you about their fears, worries and wrongdoing at any time.
• Show trust: Showing your child that you trust them is just as important as your child’s trust in you. Show them that you believe in them and trust them.
• Praise your child: Praise your child for their honesty. This is how it realizes how nice it is to tell the truth, even if it is sometimes difficult.
• Be a role model: You expect your child to be honest? Then be honest too. As soon as your child notices that you use a little white lie every now and then, they will no longer take the topic of honesty so seriously.