If your 6 year old is lying, what to do?

From primary school age, children can differentiate between truth and fantasy in a much more differentiated manner, recognize a lie and know that lies have consequences. At this age, your child pays attention to justice and truth. If it catches someone lying, it calls out “liar”. “It’s true” or “It’s just a game,” is how he comments on his behavior or the stories he hears. Your child feels more grown up and wants to test their limits. They want attention and approval from those around them.

Why your six-year-old is lying

Your child has now learned to manipulate the people around him with false information so that he gets what he wants. This can have selfish reasons, for example because they really want to watch TV or to protect a friend from punishment or to help them. Your child has also understood by now that you could be disappointed in them if they do something wrong. In order not to lose your love, it resorts to a lie. Or it tries to protect itself from being overwhelmed in this way. Furthermore, children lie for the same reasons as adults: fear of punishment, a desire for approval to gain an advantage, and to protect against a guilty conscience. Or they want to avoid a conflict and increase their self-esteem.

How should you react when your six-year-old is lying?

• Take a deep breath : First of all, you should take a deep breath. If you yell at your child in such a situation, they will not understand what you want from them. Talk calmly but firmly to your child.
• Ask yourself “why”: You should find out why your child lied. is he afraid to tell the truth or has his imagination run away with him?
• Show your child that you love them: It is important that your child realizes at all times that you love them and that you will not love them any less because of their misconduct. This is especially important so that your child can build trust in you and can tell you the truth in the future.
• Explain to your child that honesty is important: Children must first learn as they grow up why telling the truth is so important. Explain to your child why you expect honesty from him.
• Consequences yes, punishment no: Show your child how much a lie can hurt and disappoint other people. This way your child will understand why it is better to tell the truth.
• Tell your child what you expect: Children need fixed rules that they can follow. So explain to your child what you expect from them. In this way, it will be better able to deal with the limits you have set in the future.
• Build trust: Your child needs to realize that they can tell you anything, including mishaps. Only if your child can trust you will it be honest in the future. Take all his worries and fears seriously, no matter how absurd they may seem to you. It is important for your child to have you as a confidant.
• Show trust: You should also trust your child. When they realize that you believe them, they will be able to be more honest with you.
• Praise your child: When your child admits a mistake, you should praise them for their sincerity. This is how you encourage them to tell the truth.
• Be a role model: You are a great role model for your child. For this reason, it is essential that you also fulfill the expectations that you have of your child. You want your child to be honest? Then refrain from lying yourself.
• Check your claims: Does your child lie all the time? Then it might be overwhelmed. Check your requirements and consider whether your child can meet them. If not, be critical of yourself.
• Advice from the child psychologist: Does your child lie despite open conversations you have had with them? A child psychologist can help you identify the root causes of your child’s behavior.