Your child ignores you, what can you do?

It gets on your nerves when you call or talk to your child, but your child ignores you. You are quickly irritated and your voice gets loud. You keep repeating yourself and yet your child ignores you as if it were hard of hearing or deaf. But the doctor didn’t find anything abnormal. And now you doubt your upbringing? Even if you are annoyed by his behavior, there is also a good side to it. With his behavior, your child shows you that he has become more independent and can make his own decisions, namely to ignore what he doesn’t like. This is an important development step for your child and a test of your patience.

Why your child ignores you

Your child has a will of its own and wants to make decisions for itself. It knows what it enjoys and what it doesn’t. If you ask something of him that he doesn’t want at the moment, it’s a nuisance for your child that he ignores. It knows and responds primarily to its own needs. Your child is defiant, but doesn’t want to annoy or provoke you. It disagrees with you and ignoring you is its way of dealing with this conflict and asserting its needs and wants. Your child may not always understand why he should follow you, because he judges things differently from you. This phase is complicated for both your child and you, because your child should learn two different qualities, to become independent and to follow you. It is best to avoid conflicts

How to react when your child ignores you:

• Be understanding: If you’re having a lively conversation, you wouldn’t like it if someone asked you to stop immediately. Realize that your child isn’t ignoring you to annoy you. Tell your child in good time that they should stop playing soon and why, this will help your child. Respond calmly: Breathing deeply calms you down. Losing your temper only teaches your child that adults are allowed to be loud, not that ignoring you is wrong or why. Approach your child when you want something from them and don’t shout out your instructions.
• Motivate your child: Your child will be happy when they are recognized. With compliments and encouragement, you motivate your child to work and cooperate with you. Praise your child when they listen carefully and get things done quickly. Praise motivates more than punishment or scolding.
• Speak simply, child-friendly and understandable: your child cannot remember more than three things at once. Give your child clear and precise guidelines. Instructions like “clean up your room” or “help dad” are too imprecise, especially for young children. Clear statements like: “Put the toys in the drawer” or “Put the glasses in the dishwasher” are better.
• Check your behavior: Is your child getting enough attention and validation? Perhaps you and your partner have recently told you about the main prohibitions. Does your child have enough time to pursue their personal interests? Does your child understand what you want from them?
• Find the reason for their behavior: Your child may be ignoring you because they are distracted or engrossed in their play. It may be overwhelmed or unwilling to do what you ask it to do. There may be a physical cause, such as a problem with his ears.
• Find other words for “no”: Your child may ignore you because they have heard the word “no” too many times. watch you Can you say “yes” after all? Formulate neutral sentences, such as: “You can play with the dog later” instead of saying “No”.
• Give your child space for independence: Your child is becoming more and more independent and wants to make decisions for themselves. It also means it knows that some things are fun and others aren’t. Think about what opportunities you can use to encourage your child’s independence and what choices they could make for themselves.
• Don’t be surprised or hurt by being ignored: Your child is in a developmental phase. It develops a will of its own and may react defiantly to you. Don’t be surprised or offended if your child ignores you on trivial matters or for a long period of time.
• Avoid asking in conflict situations: If your child ignores you in a conflict situation, you should stop asking kindly. It is important that your child takes you seriously. Speak calmly but firmly.
• Remain consistent: Your child should not learn that it can get its way by persistently ignoring things. Remain calm but consistent. When your child is supposed to come to dinner, they need to interrupt what they are doing.
• Be realistic: Don’t overwhelm your child. Don’t expect your child to obey you immediately and immediately. When your child is in the middle of a game, don’t expect them to stop happily or quickly just because you call them out.