Lawnmower parents as a parenting method: A problem for children
Hardly any topic is discussed among parents as much as educational methods. In this context, an increasingly common parenting style is now conspicuous, which is controversial: The lawnmower parents. How they behave and what effects this has on their children, we explain to you in this article.
“The math homework was unsolvable for us, so my child didn’t do any homework.” This statement in letter form has only recently reached a teacher friend. On closer inspection, there is an interesting message behind this message: This student’s homework seems to be solved collectively with the parents.
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At this point, we want to make it clear that there is nothing wrong with parents helping their children with their homework. We even think that’s great! However, this letter is about the parent wanting to solve the homework conflict over the child’s head – instead of letting the child tackle the problem himself.
However, this is still harmless. Some parents regularly do their homework for their children. So they play it safe that their protégés also record good grades and shine in front of their teachers. However, they completely forget that the children deliver comparatively bad results in exams and that the benefit of homework is thus nullified. The most important point, however, is that those who suffer from it are ignored: the children. For these parents there is a term, they are called lawnmower parents.
What are lawnmower parents?
But what or who are lawnmower parents? Lawnmower parents literally “mow down” their children’s conflicts. They often intervene in social matters and encounters in the everyday life of their children in order to solve them for their little ones. A teacher defines this term anonymously on the websiteWeareteachers.comas follows:
“Lawnmower parents do whatever it takes to protect their child from setbacks, arguments or failures. Instead of preparing their children for challenges, they mow down obstacles so that their children don’t even feel them.”
As a result, lawnmower parents are an enhancement ofhelicopter parents who merely “circle over their child” to avoid danger. Lawnmower parents, on the other hand, eliminate potential conflicts or challenges in social life for their children.
Consequences of lawnmower parenting style
Every form of education leaves its mark on children. Experts agree on the conflict-eliminating form that children who hardly experience any arguments in infancy will quickly have considerable problems.
- Inability to make decisions: Children who have always been relieved of problems will be unable to make their own decisions and solve everyday challenges in everyday life. Instead, tasks are canceled and discarded because the frustration of not finding a solution is too great.
- Panic at perplexity: Emerging challenges can cause downright panic and anxiety or cause isolation on the part of the child – because the conflict is overwhelming. Some educators even predict that children of lawnmower parents will develop such a fear of their own failure that mental health problems arise.
- Coping mechanisms: These psychological consequences can lead children to blame others rather than themselves. However, another possible reaction is also an emotional withdrawal on the part of the child.
- Lack of motivation: Children of lawnmower parents can quickly develop a certain lack of motivation, as they hardly have their own drive. After all, they are used to their parents resolving their conflicts.
- Feeling of inability: Another important aspect is the psychological consequence of the feeling of “not being good enough”. The constant intervention of parents can convey to children that they are simply not able to solve their conflicts themselves.
A final consequence of an overprotective parenting style is also the consequence that their children have difficulty controlling emotions and their behavior. A long-term study by the University of Minnesota Twin Cities has shown that children of lawnmower parents are therefore very likely to disturb in class and are generally conspicuous at school. In addition, they often find it difficult to make friends.
Conflicts are important for development
Contrary to the thinking of lawnmower parents, problematic situations are incredibly important for the development of children. After all, the experience and dealing with conflicts makes children strong personalities. This sometimes requires setbacks and disappointments. In addition, the experience of having found a solution yourself is incredibly important for the development of a child. However, if they never learn to deal with conflicts, they will probably never dare to approach difficult situations later on.
Missteps are part of life, and children in particular have to learn that. Parents should therefore not give their little ones the feeling of disappointment if something has gone wrong or they have received a bad grade. In these moments, the feeling of cohesion and support is important!
How to behave as a parent
Explanations for this overprotective behavior are probably the parents’ fear that their child could fail. Or that a poor performance at school, for example, leads to the exclusion of their child among their classmates. Parents want to protect their children from negative things. This is certainly also due to the ever-increasing pressure of society to perform. According to the motto: “A child needs a high school diploma, a child has to study to be successful”. However, as the consequences of this controlling behavior listed above show, this is not the path to the “perfect life.”
Instead of parents seeing themselves as “partners” of their children, who always do their homework with them and are immediately at their side in case of difficulties, parents should learn to trust their children. This trust leads to independence in children, as they feel that they can rely on their own abilities and are able to cope with problems on their own.
Parents need to overcome their fear
As a parent, get rid of your fear that your child might fail. Show him that you trust him. This starts with the daily homework – although of course you can always be helpful. Because in this way, children, shaped by their own experiences, become the great personalities that are in them.