Unfulfilled desire to have children: how to cope as a couple
An unfulfilled desire to have children despite unprotected sexual intercourse means a strong emotional burden for both partners. Frustration and guilt are the rule. The partnership is facing a tough test. Find out here how an unfulfilled desire to have children does not put a strain on your relationship and how you can cope with everyday life.
Unfulfilled desire to have children as a stress test?
Most couples initially think that having children is an easy game. True to the motto: “If pregnancy is so easy to prevent, it must also be easy to have a child. Just have sex and I’m pregnant.” But if it doesn’t work out that easily, the uncertainty increases from cycle to cycle. The cycle of recurring hope and subsequent disappointment puts an extreme strain on the relationship and the psyche of the individual partner.
Unfulfilled desire to have children: everyone reacts differently!
The reactions to an unfulfilled desire to have children differ from person to person. Some feel useless, doubt their femininity or masculinity, their self-confidence sinks and they withdraw. They avoid social contact, especially with pregnant women or mothers, and sink into frustration and worry. The others deal openly with the problem, exchange ideas and look for solutions. Some partnerships reach their limits in such a phase, in other relationships the partners are welded together by the experience.
In addition, dealing with the issue of sterility is not made easier by society. Infertility is rarely discussed and it is often still taboo to talk about it.
Discuss problems openly if you are unable to have children
If the desire to have children remains unfulfilled, the partners need each other particularly urgently. They’re the ones who understand each other best, so they should stick together. Mutual trust and openness are now particularly important. The partners should talk about their worries and fears and support each other. You should not lose heart and openly discuss the next steps together: Is a medical diagnosis and treatment an option? Should we embark on this time-consuming, expensive procedure that is a strain on body and soul? Or do we trust that the pregnancy will still happen spontaneously? Should we perhaps consider adoption or a foster child?
Unfulfilled desire to have children: accept help
However, the couple should not only deal with themselves, but exchange ideas with others and also seek talks with experts. Pro familia and other counseling organizations offer appropriate help.