When your two-year-old lies

Children only learn to distinguish between reality and fantasy from the age of six to seven. Younger children, on the other hand, still have a strong imagination, so they believe what they play and experience in their imagination to be true. So when your child says they have a horse, what they really have in their imagination is a horse or some other toy to play with. Psychologists refer to this as the “magic age,” when children’s imaginations are still strong enough for the child to believe in them. Such inventions are not lies, but signs of a well-developed imagination and lively creativity.

Fantasy is like reality

Children under the age of four have no understanding of deception. Their wishful thinking often blossoms and becomes reality for your child. There is no ill will behind it. For example, if your child breaks something, then they have a good reason, for example because they had to drive away the “bad guy”, who, however, only existed in their imagination. So you should remain calm if your child gives you any absurd explanations for his behavior. In his imagination, he is not to blame for the mishap and therefore not in reality either.

How should you react when your two-year-old is lying?

• Remain calm and factual: If a mistake has been made, something has broken, been forgotten or got dirty, your child will invent a reason why it happened or why it is not their responsibility. Whether the mug was stolen by a burglar or the teddy bear ate all the cookies, the explanations shouldn’t upset you; rather, they show you that your child has a healthy imagination.
• Don’t punish or scold your child: Of course, accepting everything is not a solution. Scolding helps you blow off steam, but it doesn’t help your child. And punishments have the disadvantage that your child thinks they can avoid punishment with even “better” lies.
• Talk to your child: show them that honesty pays off. Praise your child when they tell the truth. This teaches him that there’s nothing wrong with doing something as long as you tell the truth about it and don’t lie.
• Hug your child and show them that you love them, even if they have lied or misbehaved.
• Don’t overwhelm your child: Never set too many rules or expect too much of your child, as they could overwhelm them and cause them to lie again.
• Be a role model: Children learn to own up to mistakes and missteps from adults if they set an example for them. Telling your child, “Tell grandma I’m taking my nap,” to ward off annoying phone calls does the opposite. So you don’t need to be surprised if your child copies these deceptive maneuvers from you. So be a good role model and try not to lie in front of him.
• Teach them responsibility: Show your child how to make up for their mistake, for example by helping to repair the damage caused. Or from now on they can only drink in the kitchen because then they can’t spill the cocoa or milk in the living room. Here, too, you and your partner are required as role models, because if you show your child how to take responsibility, then they can learn from you.