Afraid of kindergarten

Always take your fear of kindergarten seriously

Fear of kindergarten often occurs during the adjustment phase to kindergarten . The little ones need time to get used to their new environment, to settle into the kindergarten group and to accept the educators as reference persons. But no matter when and for what reason your child is afraid of kindergarten, it is very important that you take their fears seriously.

Possible causes of fear of kindergarten

• Separation anxiety: Separation anxiety is closely related to the fear of going to kindergarten. Both sides are usually involved: parents and children. If you have difficulties with “letting go”, you are also making the situation more difficult for your child. Your child senses your concerns and then clings all the more. In addition, children often find it difficult to assess separation situations. You know that you pick up your child every lunchtime or evening. However, this is not a matter of course for your offspring, even if you keep telling them so. Children quickly feel abandoned and only believe in their mother’s return when she is really there.
• Starting kindergarten too early: The younger your child is and the less it has played with other children in its life or has had other people as a caregiver, the more difficult it will be to separate from you.
• Insufficient acclimatization: No matter how old your child is when it starts kindergarten, an adequate acclimatization phase is always very important. Your child needs to build trust in their environment and their new caregiver in order to feel really comfortable in kindergarten.
• Problems within the group: Fears can arise not only at the beginning of kindergarten. Even later it can happen that your child no longer wants to go to kindergarten. The reasons for this are mostly disagreements within the group. Quarrels among the children are usually behind such a fear of kindergarten. Perhaps the best friend snitched something, looked for a new playmate, or the child was teased by others. Maybe your child is also a victim of bullying in kindergarten.
• Problems with the educators : It can also happen that your child does not get along with the upbringing style of a educator and therefore does not want to continue attending kindergarten.
• Family difficulties: Tensions or arguments within the family may be the cause of the fear of going to kindergarten. Children react very sensitively to changes in their personal or family environment, which can then be reflected in other areas of their lives.

Don’t leave your child alone with the fear

If your child is afraid of kindergarten, you should talk to them about it openly. Assure him that if he gets injured or falls ill, you’re ready to come to daycare anytime. It is therefore particularly important that you leave your telephone number to the educators and that you can be reached throughout the day. This gives your child security and gives them the feeling that they are not left alone with their worries and fears. It also learns that it can rely on you, even if you are not in the immediate vicinity. To counteract the fear of kindergarten, we have put together a few tips for you:

Tips to stop being afraid of kindergarten

• Preparation: In preparation for kindergarten , you should try to get your child used to a separation. Leave it by the hour with friends, relatives or a good babysitter.
• Settling-in phase: A good settling-in phase is the cornerstone for an optimal kindergarten time. You should spend the first few days with your offspring in the facility and gradually withdraw from the group. The child then slowly gets used to the new situation and environment. Many kindergartens offer such parent-accompanied acclimatization based on the  Berlin model . The concept envisages that parents stay with their children in kindergarten for a certain transitional period.
• Keep your word: You can counteract the fear of kindergarten during the settling-in period by giving your child enough time to break away from you. Bring your child to kindergarten regularly and always pick them up punctually at the agreed time. This shows your child that they can rely on your word.
• Farewell: When saying goodbye, you should not secretly sneak away, but tell your child that you are going now. Say goodbye lovingly, but not wistfully. Tell him you’ll pick it up later. Rituals such as waving at the window when saying goodbye are helpful.
• Lucky charm: A small lucky charm or familiar object often helps to allay children’s fear of going to kindergarten. Whether it’s a cuddly toy or your favorite toy: Your child will have a feeling of security thanks to the familiar object.
• Discussion with the educators: If you notice that your child is afraid of kindergarten, you should seek a conversation with the educators . The educators are much more able to recognize structures within the group and to intervene to help. They can also inform you quickly about changes in your child. If for some reason your child doesn’t get along with their educators, you should also seek an open conversation with them. This can make a decisive contribution to the child’s fears being put down and it being able to enjoy going to kindergarten again.