Fear of falling asleep: This is the best way to react
Your child is supposed to sleep, but he is afraid of the closet? Full of fear, your child calls out to you: “Mom, there’s a monster under my bed!” A storm is raging outside, and your child is frightened by the howling? What is going on in your child and how you can react appropriately, you can find out here.
Discovering the world is exciting and exhausting for your child on the one hand, on the other hand, it can also trigger fears in your child. A new environment, a howling storm, flickering shadows on the wall, problems in the family, an unfriendly caregiver, an exciting movie just before bedtime, worries because the parents are constantly arguing, these are all good reasons for your child to be afraid. And if you’re afraid, you can’t fall asleep. No one can force sleep. If your child is punished, over-cared for or ridiculed for his fears, his fears intensify. In the worst case, your child gets bad nightmares or sleep disturbances that can affect his health. Only at about ten years of age is your child so developed that he is afraid of real dangers, his fear is “reasonable”, so to speak, such as an aggressive, aggressive dog, death or war.
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ToggleFear of falling asleep: What’s going on inside your child
If your child feels safe, he can fall asleep. Fear unsettles your child. Then you and your partner need confirmation that they can feel safe again. It is very important for your child that you take his fears seriously. It has almost limitless trust in you and your partner, so it also believes that you can scare away all monsters and worries. Depending on age, a child’s fears differ. In some development phases, this can be very exhausting for you:
- At the age oftwo, your child is especially afraid of the dark. To feel safe again, it calls for you or your partner and doesn’t want you to leave. But also the fear of separation from parents, nightmares or animals can frighten your child so much that it cannot fall asleep.
- Until the ageof four, your child is of magical age. This means that there is no proper distinction between fantasy and reality. What your child thinks, feels, desires or dreams is just as real to your child as what really happens. Especially if your child has a flourishing imagination, he has fears that may seem completely nonsensical to you, such as lions lying under his bed, or that a robber lurks behind the curtain. For your child, on the other hand, these dangers are real, and his fear is real.
- From aboutsix years, there is the so-called delayed falling asleep. Your child tosses and turns restlessly, can’t fall asleep, and experiences the most horrible stories in his imagination. These fears prevent your child from falling asleep. They are often triggered by unresolved everyday worries or by a foreign environment.
In extreme cases, you can visit an educational counseling center or consult your pediatrician.
How to react if your child is afraid of falling asleep?
- Take your child seriously: Your child is really scared. So you should always take his fears seriously, even if they seem completely nonsensical to you. Then it will learn to confide in you.
- Be there for your child: Your child thinks his parents are overpowering. A quiet “I’m with you” can do wonders, give your child the feeling of security and dispel his fear.
- React sensitively: Take your child in your arms. Loving gestures often help more than long speeches.
- Take away your child’s fear: Try to find out and eliminate the reason for his fears. If your child is afraid of the dark, you can put a small sleeping light in the room, put a flashlight on the bed or leave the light on in the hallway. If your child is of magical age, consider with him how the monsters can be driven away, such as a “monster sweeping broom”. However, you should make sure that your child does not develop superstition. And that you do not overdo it with the “monster hunt”, otherwise it may be that your child develops even more fear. Sometimes a small “magic potion” (a small water bottle with a nice label) can help against the anxiety of falling asleep.
- Don’t try to talk your child out of their fears: If you explain to your child that there can be no robber behind the curtain and leave, then you have not taken away your child’s fear. Always take your child’s fears seriously. It is still far too young for logical arguments. Also, avoid phrases like, “Poor darling, how scared you were,” because you dramatize the situation unnecessarily.
- Don’t punish your child: Penalties are frightening and upsetting. If your child is afraid of punishment because he cannot fall asleep, then it is completely impossible for your child to fall asleep.