Forgive infidelity – is that possible?
Forgiving an infidelity is a huge strain on a relationship. The betrayed partner goes through a roller coaster ride of emotions and is torn inside. But there are ways you can save love.
That’s how you forgive a fling
You’re devastated, you could cry all the time and you don’t know what to do anymore. This is completely normal when you just found out your partner cheated on you. You are faced with the shards of the relationship and have only one thought in your head: the separation. But that doesn’t always have to be the right way. If you still love your partner and would like to try it again with him, you can learn to trust again after the infidelity. It’s not easy, especially since you’re dealing with many conflicting emotions. Anger, hate, sadness, disappointment and yet a spark of love – all of this is part of dealing with the infidelity. But you can do something to get a clear idea of how to proceed.
- Take time to think carefully. It is best to do this alone, without your partner. Analyze the current situation. This will help you make a decision. For example, make a pros and cons list of all the arguments for and against reconciliation.
- Also allow unpleasant thoughts . Take a close look at what your partner has done. How many times and how long has he cheated on you? Who did he cheat on you with? Why do you think he cheated on you? Ask your partner, even if it hurts. Only when you know everything will there be nothing more tormenting you.
- Listen to your heart. Feelings are usually a good guide when it comes to love matters. You won’t know right away what your heart tells you, but after some time and intensive examination of your relationship, it will become clear to you.
- Put yourself in his place. Yes really, that helps. Even if it’s difficult, switch roles for a few minutes. This will help you understand your partner better. And maybe then it will be easier to forgive.
- Try to trust again. You won’t succeed overnight, but it is very important in order to find each other again. For example, you can initially request to be informed about what your partner is doing, where he is and with whom he is traveling.
That’s what cheating does to a relationship
A fling can have many different effects on your relationship. This can end up being a separation or a reconciliation. If partners go their separate ways, the cut should be clean and final. A reconciliation has several facets. If both work on love, everything can go back to how it used to be – or even better. But it can also happen that the betrayal always lies like a shadow over your relationship. And that is more stressful in the long run than a clean breakup. So, even after a reconciliation, be alert and talk to your partner about whether there is still something between you.
Is an infidelity forgivable? Yes, that is him. Many couples have overcome this low point and emerged from the crisis stronger. Sometimes a fling can even save the relationship. And that is when there is unrestricted trust again and both partners are absolutely sure that they only want this partner.
The seven stages after infidelity
The shock of a fling is great in any case. Everything that follows after the confession can be divided into seven phases. It can be a consolation for you that there is life and love after cheating.
- Shock and denial: In the first phase you cannot think clearly. Your soul hurts and you don’t want to believe what happened. It is important not to rush into anything.
- Make a decision: go or stay? You should think carefully about this question and also think about whether other people are affected, for example children.
- Draw hope again: When the worst anger and disappointment has subsided, a light appears on the horizon. Enjoy this feeling and let the bad memories less and less.
- Everyday life returns: In order to stabilize your relationship, it is important to find your way back to normality. It takes months for this phase to set in after the infidelity.
- The desperation comes up again: there will always be moments when it hits you like a hammer. Suddenly, what your partner did is back. Face these situations together. You work intensively on deeper problems.
- Intensive work on the relationship: This is the last phase that you will go through after an infidelity. Draw a line under the past and show your partner that you fully trust him again.