Mama child or papa child: is there such a thing?
Does your child only turn to you for most of the day and in every situation? Or just to dad? Then it could be that you have a classic mama’s child or a papa’s child. Many children go through this phase. Here we explain the causes responsible for this development and how you as a parent can deal with it.
Many parents are familiar with this phenomenon: in every situation in life, the baby or child only wants to be comforted by mum or dad, held in their arms or picked up from sports. That one parent is the number 1 caregiver at this time. No wonder the other parent feels superfluous or almost neglected at such moments. However, we can give the all clear: In the vast majority of cases, this is only a development phase.
How does a child become a mama’s child or a daddy’s child?
The first fixation on a particular parent develops very early on. Babies in particular are initially very fixated on the person who takes care of the baby for the first six to twelve months. The newborn builds a strong bond and trust with this person, so that it is often only this parent that wants to be taken care of or comforted. However, this bond is incredibly important for the security of the baby. In most cases, this person is initially the mother, who takes great care of the baby during the first months of life. It may be that the newborn only stops crying when it is in the arms of the mother – instead of with his father. However, this close mother-child bond in the first few months is completely natural.
Mom child in infancy
The attraction to the mother can also continue in infancy. The reason for this can be, for example, the very strenuous development phases of the child for the mother. In some cases, the mother may distance herself from her child because she is overwhelmed. However, children have a very good instinct and quickly realize that they are not getting full attention. This can also be the case if, for example, an intensive event such as moving house or the birth of another child is pending. These new and quite stressful situations unsettle the child, so that it clings all the more to its mother because it instinctively seeks the usual feeling of security.
Toddler daddy
In infancy, when the child becomes more mobile, it can also develop into a daddy child: the child slowly begins to crawl, walk and curiously explores its surroundings. Many fathers respond particularly well to this thirst for action phase by playing a lot with their toddler and engaging in sporting activities. Above all, this promotes the child’s development of autonomy and thus corresponds exactly to the needs of this development phase. So it can be that the initial mom fixation is replaced by the papa child phase.