Praise children: 5 valuable tips for good praise
Many parents give their children lots of praise on a regular basis, with the intention of doing them a favor and boosting their self-esteem. But praise is not always automatically good for your child. Our expert Rosina Geltinger has put together five important tips for you that you should consider when praising your child.
1. Don’t use praise as manipulation
Example: “If you sleep now, then you are a good child”. This manipulates the child. So he knows that he will be praised if he does what mom or others want or ask him to do. However, there should be no strings attached to praise.
2. Praise children: only if you mean it honestly
The child intuitively senses whether it is being praised sincerely or whether mum is only saying nice things so that there is finally peace. Likewise, general, exaggerated or manipulative praise is useless. It’s better to praise less, but genuinely and sincerely.
3. Fill your praise with words
Instead of empty phrases like “You did a great job” it is much more valuable for your child and also better for their development if the praise is also filled with words. For example, “Wow, you climbed the jungle gym quickly. You seem to be having a lot of fun.” This makes your child feel understood, seen and senses your interest.
4. Not too much of a good thing
Be careful with your praise so that it doesn’t lose its value. Praise too often and excessively can easily lead your child to think they have done something wrong if it is not explicitly praised as good and right. A good alternative to this is a nonjudgmental affirmation such as “Now you quickly climbed the jungle gym” instead of “You did great.”
5. Children praise: Not too fast
When your child has mastered something difficult for the first time, they are flooded with happiness. If you praise your child in such a case immediately after the crime, you deny him the chance to consciously experience this feeling. Therefore, only give praise when the child is looking for your confirmation, for example through eye contact, or “Mom, did you see that…”.