Sexual reluctance in men: tips after childbirth
Sexual reluctance after childbirth is not only a problem of women. According to a recent study, men also have less desire for sex in the postpartum period. We clarify why this can be the case and how the new parents can fight the reluctance.
In the first weeks after giving birth, the new mother has in many cases little desire for sex. This is absolutely understandable, because during pregnancy and childbirth, a woman’s body changes in many ways and she needs to develop a new body feeling.
However, sex after childbirthis far from just an issue that concerns women. Even with fathers, it happens more and more often that after birth there is sexual aversion. That’s the result of a study conducted at the University of Michigan. Although the drive usually returns faster in men than in women, sexual aversion can quickly become a problem that burdens the relationship. This is the case, for example, if the mother thinks that she is no longer attractive to her partner after birth.
Where does the reluctance come from?
In such a situation, it is important to be clearly aware of what can cause the reluctance in the man.
- Not only for the mother, but also for the new dad, a completely new situation arises with the birth of the baby. Living together as a family must be reorganized from the ground up and a newbalance must be found between parenthood and life as a couple. The man must therefore completely redefine his role, which can lead to temporary reluctance.
- The connection between mother and child is something very special. It can happen that fathers feel left out or even neglected by their partner. Depending on how strong thelink between sexual and emotional closenessis in men, this situation can also lead to sexual reluctance.
- Since the body of the partner changes a lot and is often very affected by the birth, some men areafraid of contact in the first weeks after birth. They now have to get to know the mother’s body in a completely new way. Especially when it comes to the sexual organs, many men are afraid of hurting their partner or hurting her. This uncertainty can lead to reluctance.
- A baby demands a lot from the parents. Stress, lack of time and fatigueare not only a problem for the mother. Fathers are also affected by the fact that familiar processes are confused and first have to deal with this new situation. Sexual aversion can be the result.
- Sexual aversion in men can also arise as areaction to the feelings of the partner. Many men are only really sexually aroused when they realize that their partner feels the same way.
What to do against sexual aversion in men?
There is no panacea for how to take action against the reluctance or how long it takes for sexual desire to return. However, it is important not to make up the matter with yourself, butto talk about it. In this way, uncertainties and fears on both sides can be dispelled.
One possibility is also to arrange fixed appointmentswhen you “only” deal with each other as a couple and consciously deal with sex. Also, the exchange of caresses that do not directly result in sex can help to restore physical contact.
However, you should not put yourself or your partnerunder pressure to defeat the reluctance as quickly as possible. Because pressure usually has the opposite effect and can even make the problem worse. Couples should therefore take their time and slowly approach each other again. And even if it is difficult: you should not make too big a deal out of the temporary reluctance. Sooner or later, lust will certainly return.