Tantrum in the child: This is the best way to react

Tantrums are normal in children up to a certain age

Tantrums are still normal up to the age of four, they are part of your child’s development. Your child experiences limits and prohibitions and reacts very emotionally. With his yelling and hitting, he wants to show you what he wants and how frustrated he is with your “no”, because it doesn’t make any sense to your child at that moment. At the age of four, the tantrums become less frequent. If your child is over the age of five and is still having frequent tantrums, see a doctor as they may have ADHD .

What happens in your child when they have a tantrum

During a tantrum, your child is trapped in their inner anger, cut off from the outside world and overwhelmed by intense emotions they cannot control. Your child’s tantrums are bad for you, but they are much worse for your child. He has lost control and is being overwhelmed by his emotions. This can be a scary situation for your child. When things don’t go the way your child wants or they can’t get something right, they escalate into a kind of frenzy. Another reason for a tantrum could be overwork or overstimulation. Suppressing these feelings would completely overwhelm your child. It has yet to learn that prohibitions and rules are part of life. His way of dealing with frustration, anger and anger is by screaming and thrashing about.

How should you react when your child throws a tantrum?

• Keep Calm: Anger can be contagious. Remember that you are the adult and don’t lose your temper.
• Show understanding: Remember that the aggression is not aimed at you. Remind yourself how difficult it is even for adults to control their anger and show your child that you understand their feelings.
• Remove dangerous objects: To prevent your child from accidentally injuring themselves, you should remove dangerous objects from their environment. If it hurts other children or adults, take it to another room and stay with your child until the attack is over.
• Don’t go away: stay with your child. In a tantrum, the child feels the force of his own emotions, which may frighten him because he is no longer in control. If you walk out of the room, your child may feel abandoned by you.
• Don’t talk and don’t yell: At this moment, neither talking to your child in a sensible way nor scolding them will help. On the contrary, it makes it even angrier. You should just wait for the thunderstorm to pass.
• Don’t let yourself be blackmailed: the tantrum only concerns you and your child. So try to ignore the comments and looks from the area, or leave the place with your child.
• When the attack is over, hold your child in your arms: your child will then feel that you still love them and they will feel safe and secure with you.
• Talk about the tantrum: It is best to talk to your child about the tantrum and the reason for it in a quiet moment. Show him alternative ways of expressing his feelings without raging and screaming. It learns from you that it can also put its feelings into words.
• Praise your child: When your child resolves a conflict peacefully, you should praise them for it. With your praise, you encourage their positive behavior and they learn that peaceful solutions are recognized.
• Be consistent: If you wanted to take your child to the playground before the tantrum, you should do so after your child has calmed down.
• Don’t punish or reward your child: After the tantrum, your child shouldn’t feel like anything has changed as a result of the tantrum. Therefore, it should be neither punished nor rewarded.
• Avoid Tantrums: Always plan ahead. Always tell your child exactly what is coming, where you are going, with whom, for how long and also talk about the rules. Before you go into the supermarket, remind them of the rules again. Formulate positively. “Stay with Mom, go to the store, talk quietly.” Also, make sure your child has interesting things to do. Let it help, give it something to do.
• Let off steam: Your child sometimes needs the opportunity to physically vent. Think of an anger ritual, for example, in such a case your child will be given a piece of paper that they can break down into its individual parts. Or you allow him to scream for a short time.
• Be a role model: Your child primarily learns from you and your partner. You should set an example for your child on how to deal with anger constructively.