Teens and Alcohol: What Parents Can Do

Children and young people realize early on that alcohol is a natural part of our everyday lives. The crate of beer in the cellar or the glass of wine in the restaurant are part of the adult world, which becomes increasingly interesting with puberty . On average, young people drink alcohol for the first time at the age of 14.

When it comes to parenting during puberty , parents find it difficult to balance between allowing freedom and setting boundaries. On the one hand, young people have to gain their own experience and take responsibility when it comes to alcohol. On the other hand, they still need a lot of orientation and support.

Dealing with alcohol – young people are shaped at home

Parents shape their children through their own use of alcohol. Young people often adopt patterns in their drinking behavior that they have observed in their environment. Of course, that doesn’t mean parents are only setting a good example by abstaining from alcohol altogether. Nevertheless, it is important to take a critical look at your own alcohol consumption. Parents can only demand responsible use of alcohol if they behave accordingly themselves. By the way: The Federal Ministry for Health Education recommends that adults avoid alcohol for at least two days a week. And when drinking, women should stick to one and men two glasses of beer, wine or something else.

Educate young people about alcohol

When young people drink alcohol, they often underestimate the risks and dangers. Parents should calmly and matter-of-factly explain to their children the consequences of having one glass too many:

• Alcohol poisoning, increased risk of accidents and injuries – young people can easily put themselves in danger by drinking alcohol . In addition, drunken youth are easy victims of violent and sexual assault.
• Through inability to drive, aggression and a willingness to use violence, young people under the influence of alcohol can also endanger other people in their environment .
• Vomiting, babbling, uncontrolled movements: under the influence of alcohol, embarrassing situations often arise that you may not be able to remember the next day – the others all the better for it.
• The notorious “film tear” with memory lapses, headaches, nausea and a feeling of weakness are among the unpleasant physical consequences the morning after.

Long sermons just before a party are not very effective. The child is looking forward to the celebration and is probably not listening half-heartedly. It is better to broach the topic in everyday life. There is sure to be a good moment for this, for example a suitable television report or when you are talking about the last family celebration.

Set sensible rules for drinking alcohol

Rules rarely create a good mood, but they are important points of orientation for young people. Parents should make joint arrangements with their children on the subject of partying and drinking alcohol. In doing so, they should take into account their own child’s age, situation, but also maturity and sense of responsibility:

• Alcohol consumption: Parents cannot check whether their child is really only drinking the agreed “two beers” at a party and it may sometimes go overboard. Parents should make it clear that the freedom granted is linked to trust and that consequences are to be expected if trust is breached.
• Exit times: Fixed exit times are very practical. Parents can also be generous at special events or birthdays. But a child should know and respect the curfew for a normal party weekend.
• Organized Return: Some rules are non-negotiable. This includes ensuring that the child does not get into a car whose driver is under the influence of alcohol. Even if they have drunk alcohol themselves – it feels like only a little – their car or scooter stops. You should therefore agree on alternatives, for example taxi money or calling home so that you can pick up your offspring yourself.
• Private parties: If your child is hosting a party, drinks should be discussed in advance. “Hard” alcoholic beverages, including mixed drinks, are taboo under the age of 18. Beer, wine or sparkling wine is acceptable from the age of 16 – for some parents even from 15 years. It should be explained to the child that if guests get drunk at the party and may even be harmed, their parents will be held responsible. Therefore, the celebration must remain alcohol-free if necessary. The older guests also have to come to terms with this.

Youth Protection Act

According to the Youth Protection Act , when it comes to alcohol, young people under the age of 18 must not have access to brandy or drinks containing brandy in public. Both the sale and the incitement to drink alcohol will be punished as a violation of the Youth Protection Act. Other alcoholic beverages, such as beer or wine, are permitted from the age of 16.

“You and alcohol?” – address young people openly

Especially in the beginning, many young people overdo it with alcohol. If your child comes home drunk, it makes sense – even if you want to scold them right away – to calm down first. Parents should give their children the chance to bring up the topic and explain themselves. In addition, the legal guardians should make it clear that this behavior will not be accepted and that consequences will follow if it is repeated.

If their own child is drunk more often, parents should definitely seek dialogue to find out the causes. Young people usually drink alcohol when they are out with friends. They want to get into a party mood, break down inhibitions or look good in front of the clique. But sometimes alcohol is also supposed to numb worries, fears or frustration.

Parents should speak openly about their concerns without making reproaches. You should signal to your child that they must take responsibility for their drinking behavior themselves, but that they can always find backing and support from you.

Alcohol Abuse in Adolescents: Warning Signs for Parents

It is not always easy for parents to find out whether they worry too much or too little about their children. The HaLT prevention project has listed some warning signs that point to dangerous consumption of alcohol among young people:

• Your child gets very drunk every weekend.
• Your own child drinks alcohol regularly at the age of 13, 14 or 15.
• Your child also drinks at school.
• My own child was repeatedly in trouble because of his alcohol consumption.
• Your own child drinks when it is alone.

Parents should take such warning signs seriously. They can already speak for a juvenile alcohol addiction.

If parents are concerned about their child’s drinking, despite having established common rules and discussions, they should not be afraid to seek outside help. There are addiction counseling centers almost everywhere in Germany that offer counseling sessions and answer questions.