When young people celebrate: curfews and rules

The weekend is just around the corner, but instead of family time, your moody teenager has one thing in mind: party, dance, celebrate. During puberty , young people increasingly cut themselves off from their parents and demand more and more freedom. When young people discover partying for themselves, there is plenty of fuel for arguments. Nevertheless, clear agreements and consistent education by the parents are helpful for all sides.

It is important that you make it clear to your child why these boundaries and rules are being discussed. The point is not to annoy it, but to protect it from possible dangers. Be open about your concerns to get your point across. But also consider that young people need to have their own experiences in order to develop a sense of responsibility and self-confidence. Signal to your child that you trust him and that you let him go with this trust into his new freedom.

How long can teenagers party?

Try to set fair curfews with your son or daughter. Parties and disco visits are fine on weekends. During the week, young people should only party if there is no school the next day.

When it comes to coming home, you can use the Youth Protection Act as a guide. However, since private parties or meetings with friends, for example, are not regulated here, you should negotiate times that suit your child’s age. For example, it could look like this:

• From 12 -13 years until 9 p.m
• From 14 years until 10 p.m
• From 15 years until 11 p.m
• From 16 years until midnight

Depending on how and where young people want to celebrate, you can also turn a blind eye to the going-out times. It should be made clear that this is an exception and that the normal going-out times apply to the next regular visit to the disco.

Allow young people to celebrate according to the Youth Protection Act

The Youth Protection Act sets certain limits for young people, parents and event organizers when it comes to going out. Parents or organizers who take these limits too loosely can be prosecuted with a high fine. If young people are traveling without parents or another legal guardian, the following applies:

• Clubs and discotheques: Young people aged 16 and over are allowed to party in clubs and discotheques, but only until midnight. Unlimited celebrations are only possible for young people aged 18 and over.
• Pubs: Young people under the age of 16 are allowed to stay in pubs between 5 a.m. and 11 p.m. if they eat, drink or travel. From the age of 16, you are allowed to stay until midnight. From the age of 18 there are no restrictions.
• Cinemas: Young people under the age of 14 are not allowed to attend a performance that finishes after 8 p.m. For 14 and 15 year olds, the film must end no later than 10 p.m., for 16 and 17 year olds no later than midnight. In addition, the respective age rating of the film must be taken into account.

Exceptions apply if young people are accompanied by a person who has custody or a person responsible for education. You can then stay in restaurants, clubs or discotheques for an unlimited period of time. Even if celebrations for young people are organized in a special framework – for example a performance by one’s own band, meetings in a youth project – the going-out times are regulated a little more generously. In our article on the subject you will find a more detailed overview of rights and obligations under the Youth Protection Act.

Bringing youngsters home safely after partying

Discuss with your child how they will get home after the party or the disco. It is important that young people do not walk home alone after the party, as they are easy victims of violent attacks.

• Parent taxi: Pick up your child and their friends by car yourself. You can arrange with the other parents whether you can take turns organizing the parents’ taxi.
• Night and disco buses: Especially in rural areas, local public transport often offers disco buses that young people can use to get home safely after partying.
• Taxi money: Provide your child with enough taxi money so that they can finance a safe return journey at any time.
• Carpooling: Among the young people, a driver makes sure that everyone gets home safely. Make it clear that your child should never get into the car if the driver seems drunk or intoxicated.

When young people party – frequent conflicts

• Your child doesn’t follow the rules: forgot the time, missed the bus and the cell phone battery was dead. Unfortunately, it’s not always possible to get home on time, and if your child otherwise reliably keeps to the times, that’s not a big deal either. If young people go to parties and repeatedly ignore mutual agreements, you should draw consequences. For example in the form of canceling the celebrations for the next few weekends. This is the only way to make it clear that the rules that have been agreed upon together cannot be changed arbitrarily.
• Your child comes home drunk: Realistically, you cannot prevent your child from having their first experience with alcohol sooner or later. When young people celebrate, beer, alcopops or “hard” drinks can often be organized very easily – even if the sale is strictly regulated under the Youth Protection Act.
  Make sure your child comes home drunk. Find the conversation and make him aware of the dangers of regular consumption and the so-called “film tear”. Instead of a moral sermon from above, a conversation at eye level is required here. This also makes it easier for you to find out why your child drinks alcohol. It must be clear to you that your own alcohol consumption is also being put to the test. You can only credibly represent what you set an example for your child. You can also find more information on this topic in our article “Young people and alcohol – what parents can do” .
• As soon as the rules are at stake, there are arguments: Even with fair and balanced rules, there can always be discussions. Often it’s not about the rules themselves. Your child is testing limits and may be loud, hurtful or dismissive. Of course, this does not only apply to the topic of “celebrations”. Adolescents of this age seek confrontation and points of friction. It can be about going out, schoolwork or even just washing dishes. The discussions are exhausting and annoying, but they also establish contact with your child and give them orientation.