The first time

The first time is associated with many questions and fears. Girls often fear pain and unwanted pregnancy. Boys are more concerned that the first time – for example due to climaxing too early or erectile problems – will not go as hoped. Knowledge about safer sex, physical changes in boys and girls and safe contraception helps young people to deal responsibly with their sexuality. By the way: You can also find information and many helpful tips on sex education for children and young people in our special education .

Adolescent sexuality: The first time has time

According to a representative survey by the Federal Center for Health Education (BZgA, 2010), many young people still have time for the first time. More than a third of those surveyed between the ages of 14 and 17 said they had not yet had sex. Most of the young people who were sexually active – around two thirds – experienced it for the first time at the age of 15 or 16 .

It was important to the majority of those surveyed to share with a trusted, permanent partner for the first time and to use a reliable contraceptive. Only 8 percent of the boys and girls experienced the first time without contraception with their partner.

Even if the study confirms that the young people generally have a good knowledge of sex, more clarification is needed on the details. There is still a lack of precise information, especially on the topics of contraception and sexually transmitted diseases .

Sex Education: Prepare for the first time

Expectations for the first time are high and are distorted by unrealistic depictions, for example in pornographic material, or boasts from the clique. In order to work against false ideas and fears, it is important that the body, sex and love are also talked about at home.

It’s about more than the technical aspects of sex and contraception, it’s about feeling good about yourself and your needs, about equal partnership and about the strength to say “no” if you don’t want something. Experts see “the” big educational talk as not up-to-date. Sex education can also take place casually and in a relaxed atmosphere. It is also important that parents fill in their own knowledge gaps in order to be able to react competently to questions.

When is the first time allowed?

In order to protect children and young people from abuse , there are legal restrictions in the area of ​​sexuality. Not only forced, but also voluntary sex can be punishable under certain circumstances, for example…

• …if sexual acts take place in front of or with children under the age of 14. This also applies if both persons are younger than 14 years. But since children are considered to be under criminal responsibility, they cannot be legally prosecuted in this case. However, people who have not sufficiently fulfilled their duty of supervision, such as parents, educators or teachers, may have to answer.
• …if sexual acts take place between adults over the age of 21 and young people under the age of 16 and the young person lacks the ability for sexual self-determination. This means that young people under the age of 16 must not be seduced into anything that they do not (yet) understand properly and whose consequences they cannot weigh up.
• …if sexual acts are carried out with young people under the age of 16 who have been entrusted with the purpose of education, training or care. Sexual contact with young people under the age of 18 is also punishable if a relationship of dependency is exploited. This is the case, for example, in a teacher-student relationship. By the way: The love relationship between the teacher and the ward also has consequences under civil service law if the student is older than 18 years.