What is monogamy? All about the monogamous relationship

Till death do us part – that’s a promise many people wish for. But not everyone really wants to live it. Hidden in this promise is monogamy, which is often questioned and discussed.

Monogamy Definition: This is what is meant by a monogamous relationship

What is monogamy? This is basically easy to explain: Monogamy stands for a romantic form of relationship that you only share with a single partner. This exclusivity relates to both sexual and emotional fidelity. That means: An intimacy with a third partner is excluded. And that is exactly what becomes a problem in many relationships.

Nevertheless: Scientists from the US “National Academy of Sciences” say that humans are created to enter into monogamous relationships – but not out of romantic ideas, but to raise their offspring together and thus protect them.

In the recent past, however, a new form of monogamy has developed, especially among young people: so-called serial monogamy. Two people enter into an exclusive relationship for as long as it seems right and suitable for both partners. This phase of life partner is then replaced by another partner including a new monogamous relationship.

A monogamous relationship or a monogamous marriage is a type of relationship that is mainly practiced in Western culture. In some cultures, including primitive peoples, the opposite of monogamy is practiced: polygamy. Multiple (sexual) partners are socially accepted in these circles and completely normal.  

criticism of monogamy

Monogamy is unrealistic – more and more studies show that. Statistically, 40 percent of men and 25 percent of women will cheat at least once in their lives. Critics of monogamy even go so far as to claim that only a monogamous relationship and the associated requirement of loyalty drive people into infidelity.

The reason: In a monogamous relationship, we claim to find complete fulfillment in the spheres of emotionality, stability and sexuality in our partner. But that is a utopia. At the same time, monogamy means renunciation for both us and our partner: renouncing being intimate with other people or just finding them attractive.  

Monogamy can work – but…

You cannot depend on your partner for your personal, emotional, and sexual happiness. You are responsible for it yourself. Nevertheless, like most Germans, you long for a stable, romantic and exclusive relationship. In order for this to work in the long term, a few rules must be observed:

  • Open communication: Talk to your partner about your expectations and wishes and also address problems openly. In addition, you should emphatically respond to the wishes of your partner.
  • Avoid control: Compulsive control is poison for any relationship. Create space for yourself and give your partner some in return. It’s healthy for a relationship when each partner has their own hobbies and friends. This reduces distrust and jealousy .
  • Create time together: In addition to enough freedom, time with your partner is also extremely important. Create rituals like a daily dinner or pursue a hobby together. You should also make plans for the future together.
  • Sexuality: Talk openly about your sexual desires and live them out together with your partner. Try to create moments of surprise that make you break out of the everyday sex routine .

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