“With the second child we were more armed”

When my first son was born in July 2013 and ended up in intensive care because of an infection, I had no idea how difficult our first time together would be. Breastfeeding was becoming increasingly difficult and painful, so on the advice of my pediatrician, we switched to the bottle. This was a very difficult step for me because I really wanted to breastfeed.

Severe abdominal and intestinal cramps

For 16 weeks, my son’s life was made difficult by severe abdominal and intestinal cramps and colic. We tried many different types of bottles and teats and read everything on the subject of infant spasms. We also tried globules, defoamers (preparations that dissolve the air bubbles that form in the bottle), intestinal bacteria, vitamin D in oil form, osteopathy, the fly grip and much more.

Neither globules nor defoamers brought anything. Vitamin D in oil form and an intestinal cure, on the other hand, worked. Over time we have learned that the intestines take time and many preparations are “placeholders” in pharmacies that desperate new parents try out because they want to try everything to help their baby. The remedies probably don’t hurt, but usually don’t really help either.

I had to wean off with medication

When I gave birth to my second son in December 2017, I was certain that we would have a beautiful and easier breastfeeding relationship. Unfortunately that was not the case. I had to stop breastfeeding for medical reasons. And with the same infection that my first son had, the cramps and colic were back. But we were more armed. We immediately turned to anti-colic bottles, which have a special air system, and the matching teats. There were also suitable pacifiers.

This time we opted for an intestinal cure and a visit to the osteopath. We also got a hammock, which helps our little son and us a lot as it relieves cramps and gives the baby a sense of security. It gives us parents a breather.

Failing feeling again

Not being able to breastfeed again was a renewed sense of failure for me. But I knew that being so torn inside would not do me or my baby any good. At that time I breastfed my first son with tears and it was only through our pediatrician that I gained confidence and realized that I am no worse mom when I give him the bottle.

The fact that I had to stop breastfeeding this time was a major setback for me, but the experience with my first child helped me here too. I just decided for my second son and I that the bottle will be our form of feeding. This inner attitude is also transferred to the baby. In addition, my husband has always supported me. The fact that my decisions are also his helped me a lot.

Use low-nutrient water

When bottle feeding, it is extremely important to maintain the exact drinking temperature of 37 degrees, to sterilize the bottles and teats regularly and to use water that does not contain too many nutrients. Many parents take tap water and boil it. For babies who suffer from cramps, always test the hardness of the water, as too much calcium can make the cramps worse. We buy a specific water that we drink and that is low in nutrients.

When feeding, an upright posture is an advantage. The typical burp is very important for bottle babies to get rid of the excess air. Even immediately after feeding, you should not put the baby down, otherwise many babies will spit up more.

Colic is also psychological in nature

Colic is usually not only physical in nature, but also psychological. Arriving in this world takes time and a baby’s intestines are not yet fully developed at birth and are very sensitive. If antibiotics are used as a result of an infection, the intestine is severely affected and takes a long time to heal again.

Just like us, many parents are in despair when they see their little baby suffering. A visit to the doctor always gives a feeling of security, because you want to be able to rule out illnesses.

The Magical Twelve Weeks

As a parent of a colicky baby, you eagerly await the magical 12 weeks to pass. The intestine needs twelve weeks until it is mature enough to tolerate food well. However, colic can last up to six months.

We are glad that there is such good bottle feeding and the necessary feeding accessories to make this painful early stage a little easier for our children. Bottle feeding offers a lot of flexibility because the partner can also feed the child. I would have loved to breastfeed, but bottle feeding is also intimate and bonding for me as I can hold my baby and watch him drink.

Acceptance is the most important thing

In my opinion, both breastfeeding and bottle feeding should be seen as something completely natural. No mother should be ashamed of how she feeds her child. Unfortunately, I have found that this way of thinking has not yet fully arrived in our society.

Again and again there are people, other mothers, nurses, sometimes even midwives, who make you feel bad if you can’t breastfeed. Back then in the hospital it was suggested to me that I didn’t really want it, that I was too weak. But this pressure does not help any mother, accusations are of no use to anyone. Acceptance for all paths is the most important thing.