Your child does not sleep: why and what can you do?
Your child doesn’t want to sleep and, creative as it is, finds one excuse after another not to have to go to bed. Every night, your child delays bedtime. Why your child does not want to sleep and what you can do about it, you can find out here.
Your child does not sleep: When does the problem appear?
The problem that a child does not want to sleep arises mainly between the third and fourth year of life. Your child needs about ten to twelve hours of sleep at this age. It reacts much more sensitively to lack of sleep than an adult. Then it really turns up. Going to bed is very difficult for your child, because he does not want to be alone, he wants to enforce his will and determine everything himself. Some children feel deported when they are supposed to go to bed. Maybe your child has digestive problems or a strong psychological stress. Problems falling asleep are common in children of this age. By the age of four, every second child has trouble falling asleep.
Why getting enough sleep is so important
Your child sleeps deeper, faster and longer than you. It also dreams more. In the dream it processes the experiences of the day. This happens in REM sleep, the sleep phase in which everyone dreams. But this takes enough time. But if your child sleeps too little and dreams too little, then a REM traffic jam builds up, so to speak, which manifests itself during the day in concentration disorders and aggressiveness. In some cases, it can lead to unwillingness to gamble and irritability, in serious cases also to growth retardation, susceptibility to infections and poor memory formation.
Every 45 minutes, your child goes through a phase from light sleep to dream sleep. It can happen that it wakes up briefly between these phases. Then it takes a moment to find its way back to sleep. This can happen up to six times during the night. It finds the necessary deep sleep before midnight – provided it goes to bed early enough. Deep sleep is important because it ensures that the forces that were used during the day are restored. It is particularly important because it releases the necessary growth hormones. In addition, the body’s own defense against pathogens is built.
Why your child doesn’t want to sleep?
There are many different reasons why your child can’t fall asleep:
- News upset: Regardless of whether your child receives good or bad news, children always like to get upset about news. Whether your child is disappointed or feels a great anticipation, it makes no difference. And if your child is annoyed, then he is guaranteed not to get tired.
- Children need a lot of exercise: Maybe your child hasn’t moved enough? Were you with your child in the fresh air?
- Media consumption: Too much TV or video games make your child restless. You should make sure that your child does not spend too much time on it. One hour before going to bed, your child should no longer be allowed to watch TV. Some children should not listen to cassettes before going to bed or when falling asleep, as it upsets them too much.
- Irregular daily routine: If your child is put to bed at a different time every night, they can’t develop a sense of time. This makes it difficult for him to fall asleep in the evening.
- A question of temperament: Your child is different with his needs, both from you and from his siblings. Maybe your child needs less sleep than the other children or clear rituals. Watch your child and try out what they need to fall asleep.
What can you do if your child doesn’t want to sleep?
- Don’t pull your child out of the middle of a game: Keep an eye on the time: Announce to your child in good time that he or she has to go to sleep soon. In this way, your child learns to deal with time and to stick to time constraints.
- Talk to yourchild about what they experienced during the day: Your child has a lot to discover and experience every day. Give him the opportunity to tell you about it. Not only does it learn to tell you about the stories from its life, it can relieve itself in you and this relaxation helps it to fall asleep better. It is best to introduce this as a ritual for the end of the day.
- Reward your child: If your child goes to bed early and falls asleep soon, you should reward them the next morning. A small gift or clear praise is a great motivation. For your child, going to bed early may be a sacrifice, because he refrains from playing with you and cannot experience any further adventures. With a reward and your praise you show him that this “sacrifice” is worthwhile.
- Ensure bedtime rituals: For a three-year-old child, it is very helpful if he has fixed bedtime rituals: first dinner, then washing, then brushing his teeth and getting changed, then there is the bedtime story. Children need and love such rituals. If it gets another bottle, make sure you don’t give it right before going to bed. Warm milk fills the stomach and can make it difficult to fall asleep.
- The favorite toy is allowed with: Allow your child to bring their favorite toy to bed. This helps him to play himself to sleep.
- Ensure peace and quiet: Make sure that your child can sleep undisturbed. The siblings should not be allowed to enter the bedroom, otherwise your child could be woken up.
- Power games: Maybe your child is trying to get his way. Then you should not let yourself be disturbed by this power game. Stay calm and consistent.
- Find a professional on: If your child sleeps very irregularly and this becomes the rule, you should rather consult a doctor. Sleep disorders are a serious problem. They can trigger concentration disorders, growth retardation, learning disorders and anxiety in your child. If your child has ongoing trouble falling asleep, keep a sleep diary. This allows you to see a specialist for sleep disorders. There are over 300 sleep laboratories in Germany that will be happy to advise you.