About big and small worries in the last trimester
Pregnancy is an exciting time. Especially in the last trimester, when the birth is getting closer and closer, the anticipation is often mixed with a few worries. Blogger Ellen Wennker remembers this time well – and tells you about her concerns here.
This is pretty much what it looked like in my head during the last few weeks of my pregnancy. I was torn between burning impatience and feeling somehow not ready. There was so much that was new and unknown before me. a birth. A baby. be a mother I was curious and anxious at the same time, like before my first day of school, only this time with this big, uncomfortable belly.
Do we have enough clothes for the baby?
It’s almost a bit silly, but what I remember best is worrying about whether we had everything we needed for our child. Enough clothes, the right diapers, a snot suction device in case of a cold.
Maybe I can remember it so well because the worries about the well-being of my own child don’t stop after the birth. On the contrary, I don’t need to remember that, I’m worried right now if my son is dressed warm enough. But maybe I can remember it so well because in retrospect this concern about all the children’s stuff turned out to be both justified and completely unnecessary at the same time.
Exactly saved in the wrong places
If you set yourself up for a child, you are often told that such a baby does not need much. Milk, a warm place with mom and dad, diapers. And love. Of course, lots of love. The rest isn’t that important.
Until you come home with a baby and realize that you wanted to be reasonable and economical with all your preparations in exactly the wrong place and now you urgently need wet wipes because somehow the water bowl and washcloths don’t work so well, as intended.
When breastfeeding becomes a problem
You can also worry about breastfeeding in advance. Let me tell you that, if necessary, you can easily get the pump and powder in the pharmacy at any time of the day or night. And my husband was also able to get bottles quickly when, despite all the good advice from our midwife, we didn’t get any further.
In general, my husband was able to find everything that was needed without any problems while I lay in bed with the child and watched old dance films. Although he had to go back to the office three days after the birth. Shopping for things turned out to be a lot easier than my pregnancy brain wanted to admit. What a surprise.
Going through ‘must have’ lists in your head at night
Today I really have to chuckle that towards the end of my pregnancy I lay awake at night going through ‘must have’ lists in my head. That goes double and triple for the hospital bag. Mannometer, its contents were in the end unimportant, as it sat in the closet of my hospital room while I was busy breathing in the delivery room.
And how I breathed! According to the instructions of the great midwife on site. The faint doubts as to whether I shouldn’t have taken a childbirth preparation course didn’t stand a chance against the resolute guidance of my obstetricians. Having children is teamwork and worrying about whether you are doing it “right” can safely be left at home. Just like thick socks. But that’s just my opinion and shouldn’t confuse anyone who’s wondering if they’ve really packed everything important.
crying during childbirth? Farewell!
As I write this text here, I keep noticing how I smile at myself. Because many of my worries and fears from the last trimester of my pregnancy sound so trivial from today’s perspective.
It really didn’t matter if I screamed during the birth. And all that time I spent comparing different packing lists for the hospital bag could have been spent more wisely. Except that I just couldn’t.
It helped me feel prepared
All of these things just kept me busy in the last few weeks before the birth of my son. Back then, they weren’t pointless or even silly. Exploring pacifiers has helped me feel prepared. In a situation where I couldn’t even grasp what exactly I was preparing for.
Anxiety at the thought of childbirth was perfectly fine. Thinking about breastfeeding and possible issues helped me make a decision when it needed to be made. And I still remember how stupid it felt to be told that all those worries were completely unimportant. That was important to me at the time and it didn’t help at all when my fears were so easily dismissed.
One of the most useful weapons
From today’s perspective, it even makes sense to have practiced the whole worrying thing. Looking back, it’s clear that the things that ended up going wrong were never really on your radar before, while the big worries often turned out to be completely unnecessary.
As a parent, you worry a lot more, a lot more. And having a bit of practice dealing with that, and knowing that all the worrying in the world isn’t going to keep your child out of trouble, I think that’s one of the most helpful weapons in my mom’s arsenal.
Fears and worries are completely normal
When you’re pregnant, perhaps especially when you’re experiencing all this for the first time, it’s normal to have fears and worries. All the more so since we live in a time in which we sometimes no longer know what to think because of all the information.
That’s when it’s important to have someone whose advice you can trust. A midwife. Or a doctor. Someone with whom there are no stupid questions. Someone whose judgment we rely on to separate the serious issues from the less serious ones. Someone who accompanies us through this time in life so well that in retrospect we can smile a little about the seriousness with which we packed this ominous hospital bag.