Children’s toys: What babies and children really need and why too many toys are not good
This is how you recognize unreflected consumer behavior
Admittedly, there is hardly anything that can compare to the glittering and shining children’s eyes when they open a package and appraise a new product. Later, however, everyone involved has to realize again and again that the attraction of the new lasts far too short and the toy soon ends up in the corner and the child starts to get bored again.
If parents keep buying toys anyway, this is primarily a sign that they are not reflecting on their actions and their own purchasing behavior. Why exactly am I buying this now? do we really need this? Have I seen this in others?
If you never ask yourself such questions, you are more likely to fall into the consumption trap with toys and overlook the fact that too many toys even have a negative effect on your children’s development.
There are many manufacturers who claim that their toys are educational and will encourage child development, when in fact none of this is true.
Examples of problematic toys
An example are flashing cuddly toys that play sounds and music. The manufacturers may claim that the products encourage understanding of the cause-and-effect principle, but in reality they cause sensory overload and are unnecessarily distracting.
In the game, the child is usually bombarded with too much information if it only presses a button once, because not only a sound but several melodies come up and lights are flashing at the same time.
In any case, the cause-and-effect principle is not well illustrated by this, since an entire concert is triggered with the touch of a finger. In this way, however, the child only learns that a small cause has a great effect, while the many sounds and lights fascinate and create emotional fireworks for the child.
When so much can be achieved with such a small, actually futile effort, it is no wonder that over time children show neither the willingness to make the effort nor the perseverance. The toy described is just one of many examples that follow the same principle.
When your child learns that they can get their way by screaming and crying and that complaints and tantrums are reacted to with new stimuli and toys, this affects their cognitive, emotional and social development as well as the unfolding of creativity.
Another example are play arches, which are not at all suitable for babies under four months and only cause sensory overload. Babies first have to discover their hands and learn to grasp before they can meaningfully occupy themselves under a play arch.
Read product descriptions of children’s toys carefully
If you deal with product descriptions for a while, you train your eyes and understanding of what the manufacturers actually want to achieve: With play arches, it is often stated that the baby can deal with it for a long time, which means for the parents that they have time for win other things. For whom is the play arch actually made?
Parents today need to have some understanding of certain pedagogical approaches to prevent manufacturers from using enticing terms to fool them into believing that their products have educational value.
But it’s not just about what the parents consider meaningful and useful for their children, but of course also about what the children want. In order to find out, you have to observe and enter into communication and exchange, because a child often does not know exactly what is going on and needs the support of adults.
Children ask why they want to play with certain toys
Just ask your child what and why they want to play with the toy. It is not uncommon for the child to have no answer. Maybe it doesn’t really want the Playmobil police station, but just a police helicopter.
And if the child is so enthusiastic about the plastic fire truck, you should buy it and not fight against it just because it is not made of wood. Plastic isn’t that bad either.
What babies and children really need
Babies don’t need toys. Yes, it’s actually that extreme and that simple. Babies develop many skills in the first year of life: They get to know their hands, how to grasp, eye-hand coordination, later how to put things in and take them out and sort them, as well as the cause-and-effect principle.
Strictly speaking, however, all that is needed for this is everyday objects, such as a cloth with a knot, which is just as interesting for the baby as a comforter with an animal head.
Wooden cooking spoons, for example, are good to grab and when the child gets to crawling age, there will be more than enough opportunities in the apartment to put things in and out.
Of course, my children also had baby things, because it is nice when there is something specific that only belongs to the child. But in the end, a basket with clothespins and a box that you can paint and cut out will do just as well – or maybe even better – than a manufactured toy.
Babies are more attracted by the bright colors of the toys than by how they feel. Children only really start playing when they are two years old. Only then does it make sense to buy a play kitchen or a doll’s house, since the first pretend games are on the development plan.
Even if children can of course play with real pots and food, toys give them the opportunity to imitate what they observe with their parents in a safe and self-determined manner. Of course nobody will put a knife in their hands and children should learn straight away that certain things are taboo for them.
From the age of four children start constructing and you can discover a real passion for things like wooden trains, Lego and building blocks in them.
It is best to decide on a manufacturer, for example either Lego, Playmobil or Brio-Bahnen, because the manufacturers offer expandable concepts so that new smaller toys can be added.
Creativity does not develop by itself, but needs incentives. That’s why it’s much more useful and sensible for your child if mom or dad sits down in the sandbox and suggests making a cherry cake or a waffle, than offering a whole set of sand molds.
“I have always spent a lot of time with my children and observed them”
It’s great that there are more and more parenting blogs where you can exchange ideas and learn from the experiences of others. That more and more people are questioning how we treat children and the environment in particular. That parents are always better informed and know what stage of development their child is currently at.
This of course leads to different opinions. Some parents these days are convinced that toys should be avoided altogether, while others swear by toy-reduced environments.
I don’t think children should grow up without toys, although my children actually had very few toys and my daughter used my son’s toys.
It might sound amazing to some, but most of the toys were gifted to my children and I only bought a few for them myself. And I’ve always waited for my little ones to be the right age for the toy to avoid frustration.
I also heeded the advice of educators to pay attention to which things are actually played on and which are just lying around and then stowed them away in the pantry.
When my son or daughter then rediscovered the things and asked for them, they went into their compartments in the children’s room, but other toys then had to be stowed in the closet.
I have always spent a lot of time with my children and observed them. Both were used to mom giving incentives and complying with their ideas and playing along both in the children’s room and on the playground.
Of course, I had to give up some things professionally to do this, but I never saw it as a sacrifice or loss. Maybe it’s also because I was aiming for a new job at the time anyway. From my first pregnancy I started reading books about children and parenting and later explored what suited my children.
Children also need to learn to endure boredom
Not all children demand active participation in play, but children do need feedback on their efforts. When a child manages to unzip a zipper for the first time, it means “Great job!” very much.
Or if she’s struggling to set up a stacking tower, a parent’s help with words of comfort will help her to better deal with the frustration and understand that there is a time for everything.
By the way, being there for the children and taking enough time to observe them and get to know them thoroughly does not mean that parents should become entertainers. Just as little as toys should fulfill this task.
Children must learn to endure boredom in order to stimulate their own imagination and creativity. So it’s worth waiting and observing what arises from the feeling rather than trying to eliminate it as soon as possible.
In an environment where there is no oversupply and the child can keep track of things, they will certainly come up with ideas that derive completely unexpected functions from the toys.
While children today have many more toys at their disposal than they used to, parents shouldn’t take it for granted or drown their guilt with toy purchases. Ultimately, a simple game of hide-and-seek contributes more to parent-child bonding than a fancy battery-powered toy.