Communication in the partnership: 10 helpful tips
If problems in communication with the partner are suppressed, no solution takes place and the problems keep coming back. Improving communication therefore makes relationships happier. Here are 10 tips for successful communication with your partner.
From time to time communication problems arise in a relationship. Our tips will help you solve them. The article “ 8 Strategies for a Happy and Long Relationship ” gives strategies how couples can escape from the daily grind .
1. Clear expression of wants and needs
Clarity is required: When communicating with your partner, you need to clearly express your wishes and needs by using so-called I-messages. For example, instead of “You should take out the garbage” or an accusatory “You could take out the garbage too”, you should say, for example: “I have already done a lot today and I am exhausted. I would be grateful if you could take out the trash.”
2. Positive feedback for better communication in the partnership
In a partnership, positive feedback is particularly important. It is not a matter of course that a partner responds to the problems and needs of the other and meets their wishes. Therefore, one should say thank you for everyday gestures and attentions, such as when your partner has cooked for the other person or listened to their problems. Although it is usually easier to criticize, nice words contribute to a happy partnership in the long term.
3. Avoid accusations and blame
For good communication with the partner, reproaches, belittlement and blame should be avoided. This only hardens the fronts and the problems remain unresolved. Instead of discussing who is responsible for a problem, the partners should look ahead, take a closer look at the specific situation and consider together how to avoid a repetition.
4. Take time to communicate with your partner
Communication begins with showing the necessary respect for the person you are talking to and showing interest in the conversation. First of all, this means taking the time to communicate with your partner, turning off the television or computer, or putting down the newspaper. This is the only way for your partner to feel taken seriously. If the time for a conversation is inopportune, you can also agree on a later date, which, however, should be adhered to.
5. Let your partner finish
Successful communication with your partner also includes listening. It is important to let your partner finish speaking. This is the only way everyone can say what is on their heart and the conversation is not dominated by the louder or the more eloquent.
6. Active listening: summarizing & asking questions
But the necessary respect and letting people speak is not everything: listening means first and foremost trying to understand the person you are talking to. But when communicating, how do you ensure that you have understood the other person correctly? For example, you can summarize your statements again. He will nod if you understand him correctly, otherwise he will explain his opinion in other words. You should always ask questions if you don’t fully understand something. This is the only way in which interlocutors really understand each other.
7. No insinuations in communication with the partner
Active listening also prevents the partners from imposing certain attitudes and thoughts on each other in their communication. A partner often doubts the actual statements of the other, because he thinks he has read his “real” thoughts. The interlocutor is thus accused of not saying what he really thinks, for example because he does not dare. In this situation, too, asking questions helps to find out the motives.
8. Listening instead of presenting solutions
In successful communication with the partner, the listener should not constantly give solutions to the other person’s problems, but rather give the interlocutor the opportunity to describe their problems first. On the one hand, this helps the speaker, because he can organize his thoughts while speaking, and on the other hand, the listener, because he can concentrate on understanding what has been said.
9. Not rehashing old stories
For constructive communication with your partner, it is important to be able to forgive mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes and of course we should apologize. Once a situation has been discussed and one partner has acknowledged their mistakes and is trying to improve, the earlier misconduct should not be brought up again and again.
10. Get professional help
The following applies in particular to parents: If you have problems that you can no longer solve on your own or if you are even thinking of separating, you should seek family or couples counseling. Professional help with problems in communicating with your partner is available from municipal and church organizations as well as from independent organizations such as “pro familia”. The consultation is mostly free.