Everyday breaks: How we can consciously take time for the family despite the hustle and bustle
Children, work, household, sports, relationships and friends – everyday life is usually quite packed and stressful for parents. Consciously taking time for the family is not so easy. Here are 7 tips on how to do this anyway.
This much is anticipated, even if it may sound banal and stuffy: One of the most central points for a functioning family life is good time management. Those who plan the framework conditions well have more room for spontaneity and flexibility in the gaps in between, but also for conscious moments. So don’t be afraid of regular agreements and routines, calendars and to-do lists!
Index
Toggle1. Introduces routines and rituals
Most children feel safe knowing what to expect on the day or even just in the coming hours. Such a basic framework of activities also makes the life of the parents easier.
Eating together at fixed times, then tidying up the children’s room, a bedtime story or an episode of your favorite series and off to bed – with a fixed sequence, the little ones grumble less and mom and dad don’t have to reinvent everything again and again.
What at first glance may look like even more everyday life avoids stress on both sides and thus creates space for more important things. However, it can be a counterproductive routine to postpone the housework completely to the weekend – because this is usually the best chance for joint activities.
2. Coordinate regularly
As parents, you should talk regularly about upcoming things and coordinate your plans and needs. If the children are old enough, they also belong at the table. If possible, convene such a family council regularly to plan the coming week. It is best to keep a family calendar in which all important appointments of the individual persons and the entire family are entered.
And designates, for example, Sunday as a family day on which free time is spent together – excursions, walks, craft sessions or simply sitting on the sofa in pajamas and watching a nice movie. The better everyone knows what is coming up when and what needs to be considered, the better the wheels mesh. And the more the feeling spreads that everything can be done.
3. Find activities for everyone
If you have a fixed family day, then – if the offspring is old enough – someone can always take turns deciding what is done together. Of course, it is best if the activities are fun for everyone. Here, too, it is worthwhile to sit down together and think together. Not everyone always has to participate: Maybe dad and daughter discover that they share a common interest, while mom and son do something else.
It is best if you kill several birds with one stone – so you do things with your offspring, for which you do not have to plan any additional time. For example, there are numerous opportunities to do cross-generational sports, yoga or relaxation exercises such as a dream trip.
Even compulsory tasks can be done together and even made an experience: preparing the food together, combining the house cleaning with a game or shopping with a trip to the ice cream parlour – get creative!
4. Focus
Multi-tasking is all well and good. But there is also the “if, then right” approach. After all, a lot falls by the wayside in everyday life with children if you do everything at the same time or only on the side. Better concentrate on only one task at a time and maybe even set an alarm clock: I clean up the apartment for exactly one hour now.
This is more effective in the long run and gives you space for family time – which, by the way, you should then tackle just as focused. Because it is not so important how long such moments are. But rather that you are there without distraction. Only then will they become quality time. So very important: Put the mobile phone aside.
5. Ticks off perfection
Many parents put themselves under pressure, want to do everything perfectly. But this only causes unnecessary stress. Because an apartment with small children, for example, does not have to be perfectly tidy. Disorder also shows that people live here.
The so-called Pareto principle describes that good results can be achieved with relatively little effort, while in comparison the additional effort for even better results is very high. Means: Tick off perfection! Not everything always has to be fulfilled 100 percent.
Instead, consider where you can use your time most sensibly. For example, you can list all upcoming appointments and tasks and then evaluate how much effort they would require and how much fun or energy they would bring you. If the hustle and bustle is just great, you can rigorously delete all non-essential points where the ratio is not right. Even if it is sometimes difficult: Saying no is usually really good in the end.
6. Create a special space for the family
This is meant both concretely and figuratively: Set up a cozy place for special family moments together – for example, a pillow-and-blanket landscape in the living room, a (reading) corner in the children’s room, a large puzzle table in the attic or a hobby room in the basement. This can be permanent or just for the moment.
In addition, it is wonderfully connecting to reminisce together, to leaf through photo albums or to rummage in the box with the baby things and souvenirs. For example, make a family collage together.
7. You also need breaks
A rule of thumb says: Only if the parents are balanced, it can also be the children. So if you are currently exhausted and have some time left, then treat yourself to a break for yourself or as a couple – and only then with the family. Because only then do you have a full battery for all the things that are still to come.