Forgive your partner’s cheating or not?

Infidelity does not always have to be physical , but at the latest when it comes to cheating, it is clear that something is no longer right in the relationship. Instead of tingling eroticism, there is frustration and boredom in the bedroom. In more and more relationships, the air is out after a while. Instead of fighting the love killers together and bringing more momentum back into their sex life, many people then look to third parties for sexual balance. Statistics show that women have even overtaken men when it comes to cheating. If you can believe the numbers, every second person is now cheating. But does it stay with the one slip-up or is the motto “once is never” when it comes to cheating?

Cheating is usually a repeat act

“Anyone who cheats once will cheat again and again!” Those who have been cheated will certainly hear this sentence from their friends and acquaintances. Unfortunately, this thesis also applies to many cheaters, because cheating is not an isolated case. Just under 50 percent of all unfaithful men and 55 percent of unfaithful women have only been unfaithful once in their current relationship. Sad but true: 17 percent of men have cheated on their partner before, 12 percent twice and 22 percent several times. Women are not far behind men in this ugly statistic about cheating. Because for 20 percent it was already the second and for 10 percent the third fling. 15 percent had betrayed their partner more than once. These figures speak for themselves and against the persistence of monogamous relationships.

Reasons for cheating in men and women

There are many reasons for cheating. However, men cheat on their partners for different reasons than women. Most cheaters give a simple reason for their cheating that isn’t one at all: “It just happened!” Men in particular usually cheat unplanned. The appeal of a sexual adventure often arises spontaneously in the male sex. The situation is different for unfaithful women: 41 percent become unfaithful to their partner because they have fallen in love again. But are the reasons for cheating really that simple? Or is there more behind the sexual infidelity?

A lack of attention leads to cheating

Half of all women and men surveyed justify their cheating with a lack of attention from their partner. A sincere compliment, small gifts, admiration and praise for the partner can already fix this problem. They give the other a sense of security and acceptance. This is exactly what works all by itself at the beginning of a relationship. Over time, it just has to be implemented again and again in everyday relationships to prevent cheating.

Tenderness in everyday life prevents cheating

Job, children, friends and family – in everyday relationships, many construction sites have to be dealt with and one’s own love must not be buried by the problems. Instead of endless discussions in bed about raising children and a job, tenderness should be exchanged. Because just the physical closeness through cuddling, for example, creates a warm feeling of familiarity and intimacy, from which good sex can arise in the first place! Tender touches in passing, a foot massage in the evening, holding hands while going for a walk or just being silly together. All this is balm for the soul and good for the relationship. So it can not come to cheating in the first place.

Flirting: Yes! – Cheating: No!

Is there a tingle in the air when the cute guy at the counter sends a smile across the room? And at home it’s only the child’s soda that’s tingling? Then caution is advised, because both women and men are overwhelmed by the hormone cocktail “desire for something new”. Fighting back requires almost superhuman self-control. But you don’t have to get carried away with cheating right away. In a relationship, the motto should always apply: “It’s allowed to get an appetite, but you eat at home!”

Cheating as a lure in long-term relationships

Who doesn’t have it in their circle of acquaintances? The couple who have been together since high school. Or maybe you’re one of those long-term couples yourself. Then the feeling that you might have missed something is certainly not foreign. One man can’t have been everything, can he? Yes he can. Anyone who talks openly about their fears often leaves the desire for recognition from the opposite sex by itself. If you realize that you have the right partner at your side, then cheating would not be an enrichment, but simply superfluous.

Cheating is not a solution to sex deprivation

Mothers know the problem: sleepless nights and the often strenuous everyday life with a baby often take their toll – namely listlessness in bed. In the hope of being able to sleep for a few hours at a time, every overture by the man is warded off with a glance at the clock. Many women feel totally exhausted and drained at the end of the day and actually just want to sleep – to the chagrin of their partner. Cheating appears to be a simple solution. But men should have understanding for their wives, especially in the early days, and try to relieve them of everyday life. Even if the sex is less, it is still no reason for cheating. With a lot of love and patience, this phase will also pass and then the desire will come back all by itself.

Cheating: chance or end for love?

In general, cheating can be invigorating for some relationships. In many cases, however, it clearly means the end of the relationship. Forgiving a partner’s infidelity is not easy. As a betrayal, one is usually unsettled and offended. Trust is broken and needs to be slowly rebuilt. However, many people who have been cheated on take their partner’s cheating as an opportunity to reconsider their relationship and, above all, to revive it.

If you still want to hold on to the relationship, you have to work through what happened together and forgive your partner. However, if this is not possible, cheating will always remain a major point of contention in the relationship and a separation will be the better decision. Talking to each other, expressing wishes and expectations – especially about sexual preferences – could probably have prevented many an infidelity. After all, most people have a reason for it. Hardly anyone cheats just for the sheer pleasure of it – and it’s often a last wake-up call for a relationship that’s slowly falling asleep.

Anyone who decides to continue the relationship despite cheating on their partner must also be able to draw a line under the processing phase. Because no partner can endure recurring bullying in the long run. Anger and sadness and also accusations are of course allowed, but not forever and not as a permanent argument in all sorts of later situations.