Couples therapy: When does it make sense? What are the costs?
Quarrels with the partner occur once in every partnership. But what if discussions and accusations get out of hand? In this case, it often no longer helps to sweep the dispute under the carpet and hope that the problems will resolve themselves over time. Help to solve relationship or marital problems promises couples therapy. Here you can find out when couples therapy makes sense and what exactly happens during counseling.
If a couple is in a relationship crisis or has unsolvable marital problems, couples therapy can help save the relationship or marriage. The prerequisite for this, however, is that both partners want to change something in the relationship – be it to hold on to it, with the desire to settle the conflicts or to decide together on the separation.
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ToggleWhen does couples therapy make sense?
Basically, couples therapy serves to get back into conversation as a couple. Conflicts often result in couples losing the ability to talk constructively with each other. Instead, there is silence or they get bogged down in discussions in which everyone insists on their right and which are marked by accusations. In particular, if the partnership changes, such as the birth of a child, this can greatly change the structure of a relationship and result in conflicts. Common reasons for couples therapy are also:
- Partners feel permanently misunderstood or criticized
- unfulfilled sexual desires
- different ideas of a common future
- Cheating
- Jealousy
- Lack of common interests
- and many more
If a couple does not come to a solution to therelationship problems independently, couple therapy can help to break through entrenched communication patterns. Talking to each other is a first and important step in processing negative feelings that burden the relationship and building new trust. In this way, crises can often be overcome.
What happens in couples therapy?
In most cases, the basis of couples therapy is systemic therapy, also known as family therapy. She considers systemic relationships and the relationships in a group and uses findings from these considerations for the diagnosis and therapy of conflicts. Couples therapy can take place individually or together.
At the beginning of the therapy, the goals are clarified: What does the couple want to achieve with couples therapy? These goals may change during the course of therapy, depending on the findings of the partners. The time interval between the individual sessions is large if possible, so that the couple has enough time to internalize new possibilities for action and implement them in everyday life.
During sessions, the therapist is a neutral mediator who uncovers and explains relationship dynamics. He remains impartial and only tries to empathize with both partners in order to develop a general understanding of the situation and present it in a new framework. Finding a solution is not the therapist’s job. Couples have to recognize for themselves what disturbs the partnership and they have to learn independently to communicate and listen to each other better in order to be able to deal better with burdens in the future.
How much does couples therapy cost?
Although systemic therapy has been classified in Germany by the Scientific Advisory Council for Psychotherapy (WBP) as a scientifically recognized psychotherapy method, it is not one of the so-called “guideline procedures” and can therefore not be billed via the statutory health insurance funds. Couples therapy must be paid for by yourself.
How high the costs are in the end depends on the duration of therapy and the chosen therapist. Psychotherapists with qualifications charge about 80 to 200 euros per hour or session. Often three to four therapy sessions of 50 to 90 minutes are enough, in other cases ten sessions are necessary.
Are there also offers for free couples therapy?
Free alternatives to couples counseling with a psychotherapist are offers from churches or from independent institutions such aspro familiaor theCaritas Association. The latter has numerous marriage, family and life counseling centers throughout Germany and also offers online counseling. The only costs that can be incurred are voluntary donations, on which churches and independent agencies depend. The individual counselling centres provide information on this.
The counsellors are trained as marriage, family and life counsellors with a diploma from the Catholic Federal Association for Counselling (BAG) and they regularly undergo further training so that couples have competent interlocutors in them. The counsellors usually come from the fields of psychology, social pedagogy and theology.
What are the chances of success of couples therapy?
Ultimately, it is up to the couple themselves whether the couple therapy is successful or not. Both must be willing to put energy intoworking on the relationship. If both partners manage to meet each other appreciatively again, they are well on the way to achieving change and coping with their relationship or marital crisis. There are no reliable statistics on the success rate of couples therapy, but it is assumed that about half of all therapies lead to a significant improvement in the relationship.