Gender roles and their meaning for children

Societal perception of gender roles

You’ve probably heard that boys shouldn’t cry and girls shouldn’t hit each other. These statements are based on the fact that in our society there is a clear idea of ​​which behavior is to be classified as male and which as female. There seems to be natural differences between girls and boys that form naturally. However, what is generally considered to be female or male is not biological. Character traits are inherently gender neutral. Rather, our idea of ​​gender roles is the product of a social development.

Cultural influences on gender roles

There are a lot of stereotypes when it comes to gender stereotypes. It is said that women are sensitive and emotional while men are assertive and practical. This may be true for some men or women, but it’s the other way around for others. A mixture of all properties is of course also possible. The fact that such clichés are still very firmly anchored in most minds is due to the fact that certain behavioral patterns and attributions have become established as normal or appropriate in our society over the course of time. This has nothing to do with natural destiny. In other cultures, the ideas in many areas of everyday life are very different from ours and even our views have changed enormously in the last hundred years. Certainly you too have different views than your grandparents or even parents in many respects. So our ideas move with the times, which means there is no absolute right or wrong.

Rigid role behavior

So there is little point in raising children according to gender stereotypes, which can change at any time. It is much more important to respond personally to your child. What does he enjoy and what things does he like to do? With whom does it like to be together and in which situations does it feel comfortable? You should try to do without fixed categories and give your child exactly what their individual character demands – regardless of whether it’s a boy or a girl. Find out what type your child is and let them have the experiences they want to have themselves. An exclusive fixation on supposedly gender-typical activities is not only exhausting for your child, but also for you as a parent.

Fixed reference persons

Despite all openness, you should definitely make sure that your child has permanent reference persons. In the case of a son, this does not necessarily have to be another male person. For example, if your son gets on very well with his grandmother and trusts her completely, then that is just as good for him as it would be for his father or a close family friend to take that place. The gender of the confidant has no direct influence on the development of your child. The main thing is that your child can feel secure and has a reliable contact person if they have problems or questions. The same goes for girls, of course.

Your child comes first

Concentrating more on the sex of the child when raising a child is therefore more of a disadvantage for your offspring. Children should be allowed to develop as they want and not be forced into pre-determined roles. Even if you may have wished for a “real” boy – if your little one prefers to play with dolls than with cars, you should put your own wishes and expectations on the back burner for the sake of your child. But even a forced liberal upbringing can backfire. Maybe you find it clichéd that your daughter likes the color pink. Still, you should accept her preference. It is not important to live up to preconceived notions, but to respond to the personality and needs of your child. Thinking in black and white Pink and blue cannot meet these multiple needs. Ultimately, the most important thing is that your child is happy.