So your child can no longer provoke you
Your child tries to provoke you by whining, whining and crying and to gain your attention. Read here how you learn to deal with it and what you can do about it.
Why do children provoke?
All children want their parents’ attention, preferably in the form of recognition. However, if the parents take too little time for their child, this often reacts with difficult behavior. It bucks, whines, screams and cries. As a result, the child achieves that his stressed parents turn to him and fulfill his wishes.
Often the rebellious behavior is preceded by a phase in which the parents show too little interest in their child. If a child drags the toy box a few times and the parents keep coming up with new excuses why they can’t play with him again, then every child feels rejected. And at some point, it realizes how the parents’ attention can be won in another way: for example, by not listening to them, spurning the food or showing aggressive behavior. Although the parents then complain about what the child actually does not like, but is still better than not being noticed at all.
It creates a vicious circle
So parents and child are trapped in a vicious circle. The child wants attention from his parents and gets it by behaving difficult. The parents believe that the child only wants to annoy and provoke them and eventually freak out, that is, conversely, they reward the child with attention.
Preventing provocations: praise instead of shouting
How do you break out of this vicious circle? Often parents forget to pay attention to their children when they are actually behaving well. Do we praise the child when he hangs up his jacket and puts his shoes on the shelf? Do we often ask about school when everything is going well?
Your child will respond positively if, instead of just noticing mistakes and rule violations, you also pay attention to what your child is doing right and well. There are many occasions during the day when you can praise your child. So be happy and show that you are proud when your child pours himself a glass of juice independently. Don’t lose your nerve if something goes wrong. Encouragement helps your child gain confidence and learn.
The best for everyone involved
Undivided trusting attention is the best thing you can give your child. The length is not decisive, it is important that the child can rely on regular attention. Especially when both parents are very busy, it is very important that family life runs smoothly. Opportunities for playing together and mutual affection give everyone strength.