Relationship over? That’s how you recognize it

Signs that a relationship is over

If you don’t know whether your relationship still has a future, then you shouldn’t swallow these doubts, but get to the bottom of them.

Ultimately, only you can decide whether you should go or stay. But there are clues that have been gathered from studies and experiences from couples therapy that can make a statement about whether your relationship is over or not. The following warning signs tell you that your relationship is no longer working:

• Almost everything about your partner annoys you. Every word, every gesture and habit, even his presence, gets on your nerves.
• You avoid your partner as much as possible and prefer to spend time at work rather than at home.
• You feel relief when your partner is not there or has to go.
• You argue with your partner every day – even about trifles.
• You would not choose your partner again, marry them or make them the father of your children.
• You avoid physical contact with your partner and have no desire to have sex with them. If he does touch you, you find it uncomfortable.
• You don’t care if your partner cheats on you.
• You and your partner have nothing more to say to each other. You do not participate in each other’s lives and have no common interests.
• You cannot answer the question “Do you still love your partner?” with certainty or with a clear yes.
• The interaction between you and your partner is distant, cold or even disrespectful.
• You make decisions alone without involving your partner.
• You speak negatively about your partner in front of friends, acquaintances or colleagues.
• You prefer to talk to other people about sensitive or important topics than to your partner.
• You don’t care what your partner thinks of you. You don’t bother trying to please him either.
• You try to change him or he changes you.
• And last but not least: You can imagine a future without your partner. In this context, simply ask yourself what your life could look like in ten or 20 years. Does your partner still play a relevant role there? Does it feel strange or scary when he is no longer in your life, or do you feel relief or indifference?

Relationship at the end: what to do?

No matter how many of the signs on our list apply to you, and if you can’t envision a future with your partner, this is a pretty clear sign that your relationship is over. In this case, you should draw a clear line. You should have a breakup interview with your partner . Try to make the breakup as peaceful as possible. Especially if you and your partner have children. Because when the relationship ends, it not only burdens you and your partner, but also your children.  

Saving a relationship: Act early

If you can still imagine a future with your partner despite all the problems that exist, you should actively tackle the problems in your relationship and look for solutions together with your partner. To save a relationship, both partners must believe in it. As long as there is trust in the relationship and enough love, anything is possible.

You should therefore pay attention to warning signals at an early stage and react accordingly. This can be a clarifying conversation with your partner or help through couples therapy. In any case, it is important to find a solution to your problems. This is especially true when children are involved. 

If you believe that you can still experience joy and have fun with your partner many years from now, then you should fight and not just walk away. If you don’t believe in it, sometimes it’s better to end something before it becomes just an agony.